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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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- oh, sorry
Last night as I went off to bed
, a polka dot scarf on my head,
I tripped on a stair
Landing on Tony Blair
Now I'm in Belmarsh until I am dead!
The trouble with children today
Is they don't kneel down and pray
When asking permission
to indulge in coition
They say "No, you big perv, go away"
When the Crescenters arrive at rab,
They find it all dreary and drab poetic licence. Not true, rab sweetie.
With colours insipid - second application for poetic license
Walls all strippéd - can it really be this bad?
But I'm joking -- it's really ab fab!
I know all the secrets of love
When to wriggle, when to roll, when to shove.
But this illness, I fear
Was brought on by beer
so I'm flacid and won't fit like a glove
My fingers are feeling quite sore Make of it what you will...
For I got them trapped in the door
It could have been worse
For I got the nurse
To kiss them and wrap them - and more!
I once knew a man from Northants
who cooked a stew made of old pants
with dumplings like lead
And an old cabbage head
all garnished with microwaved ants.
One day I'll stop starting the rhyme
start stopping - now is the time
When future and past
Turn to present, at last
Was and will be starstopting sublime.
It's been a stop/start kind of day
Iv'e been casting my glances away
, The kind where there's simply no way
oops simulpost. Ignore mine.
Too late, It's been captured online
On balance, we'll go with Zarbenia
It's been a stop/start kind of day
I've been casting my glances away
where shall I go?
'Cos I simply don't know
How to finish this in a clever way
The trouble with being so clever
Is you can't keep your thoughts all together
They prance and cavort
Way odd in an of sort
Thus scuppering scansion endeavour [ZK - what were you thinking of?] :-)
The trouble with aardvarks is this:
(Trust me, I'm not taking the piss) [Chalky - the 2nd line of the limerick, naturally :)]
Alphabetically
they're tops, if trickily Do I read you right, Chalks?
served under hot melted Swiss.
My belt hardly fits round my waist!
All due to a turkey's great taste
The magic of 'tatoes
Purchased from Waitrose Best I could do. (PP) "Taters" would have been easier.
And eaten with indecent haste
In the post-Christmas, pre-New Year gap [Rosie] I thought of "And - yikes! - up my weight goes" for the 4th line above, but decided against it.
The TV has rather less pap. (Kim) No worse than mine! I tried to think of the chemical name for various sugars, eg lactose, fructose, sucrose etc but the neurons had congealed. Alas!
Though there's no more The Office
The ISIHAC sophis- (-try, -ticated, -m, etc.)
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