arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
And then, when it's dead, write a verse.
I read in the papers today
Mutant Llamas are heading our way!
So let's board up our houses
And gird up our trousis oblig.
Fall to our knees and just pray
The only way to success
In this game we call "Mornington Cresc.",
Is so closely guarded
Because it's bombarded
By the bloodsucking hounds of the Press.
Out bowling with old Tony Blair,
I stamped on his foot for a dare
He said "Listen, mush"
Nobody but Bush (a gift)
Ever gets to touch me just there! Oh, the satire of it all.
I ache for the touch of your lips (dear)
But much more for some good fish and chips (sorry)
smothered in salt
and vinegar malt
rubbed in wounds that are left by your whips. accepting Kim's invitation
I stimulate this piece of dough
I'm podgy, lethargic and slow this is only verse, you understand...
And so when I stroke More "t" in simulate, Vicar?
The fat, stodgy bloke Try and keep this clean please?
I'm confident nothing will grow I did my best...
When eating a bucket of rice
Try saying "janitor" - twice
I'll lay odds your tongue
will foul the dipthong dodgy, dodgy...
and it won't look (or sound) very nice.
I don't think too much of this groove
And I fear that my mood won't improve
so perhaps I should leave
I've no wish to deceive
This guide showing *me round the Louvre
Now the Christmassy season is here
I'm up to my eyes in false cheer Bah, humbug
Is it only me
Who gets Yule Anomie Look that one up - Nasty !
Den Watts, Anne Robinson and Germaine Greer?
[Pogle]Not in the dictionary!
My English has gone all to pot
Bad language is all that I've got
I swear and I curse
I blaspheme and much worse
I've started to talk like a Scot
Despite having only one thumb - [chuckle at Software :-)]
And only one cheek to my bum (thx, Chalks ;-)
In fact, no left half
And a lopsided laugh
I blame it on my right-wing mum.
The circus is coming to town! (Splendidly surreal, that one.)
I think I'll dress up as a clown!
And then, with this axe,
I'll land a few whacks
On anyone wearing a gown
When working with HTML,
One summons things arcane and fell
Like "nbsp"
And things you can't see ...
would not to your best friend tell
A government study has found
We're really quite hard to astound.
MP's we don't trust
Prescott's nose I will bust
Unless of course Prince Charles gets crowned
(referring to the second line rather than the fourth)
Though usually dazed and confused,
Last night I was more than bemused
By the folks on my street
All singing "tweet tweet"
Whilst using my 'phone, which is orange
And being so highly enthused. Ignoring Mr Jimmi's rather unorthodox rhyming convention, there
Coherent in thought, word and print,
- If you are, you'll be earning a mint
Your wage will be herbs
If you screw up your verbs
and you'll be out on your neck at a sprint
While watching a video of Paris
I swore I'd glimpsed Anita Harris
But actually it's
A set of her bits
And a bare naked view of 'er 'arris
I've not been around for a while
As you'll see if you look in my file.
In fact, I've been shaking
My booty, and making
A fortune by flashing my smile.
Hooray. What perfect scansion that one had!
Joe Public just hasn't a clue
'Bout the plan to submerge London Zoo
For the canal will be dammed
And an hippopotamus rammed
In an effort to clean up its poo. coat
Some carollers came down our way
"Penny for the song" they all started to say
"For 2p we'll just go"
"And for 3p, we'll show..."
"what happens inside Santa's sleigh."
I did all my laundry today (Almost true, even)
. My whites were getting quite gray.
But a sneaky blue sock
ruined the whole f******g lot!
Dunno what my missus will say! been there, done that...
One day I went fishing for bass.
Instead, I hooked a bold lass
she'd dipped in the buff
And had just had enough poised...
Of the plaice so I floundered a pass
Pray silence to mark our respect [st d] classy!
For a thing that is very erect
It stands out proud
and attracts quite a crowd
It's said to have a healing effect
While in a nativity play
(When the shepherds had knelt down to pray)
Mary let out a scream
When she stood up, a bream
Was revealed, still alive, in the hay.
Poor Joseph was shocked to the core
When he found what the donkey was for
"You just lift the tail
It'll fill up a pail
If you tickle his balls he'll do more
An angel, by the name of Trevor
Oh buttons, how did that happen ?
An angel, by the name of Trevor
Used to work whatever the weather pronounced "wever" :-)
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord