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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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"Trick or treat" say the kids at my door (Darren, Big Dave) Real class!
so I sit tight and them I ignore
They pelt me with eggs
Shall I break their legs?
Then trick them to treats off the floor. .. heh heh
A good thing to say to a ghost
might be: "Hi - can you please pass the toast?"
A breakfasttime spectre
is a good dust collector
But reality comes with the post.
There is a huge flare on its way
Perhaps I could try that again?
There is a huge flare on its way
Well, the Sixties are back, so they say
it won't be so bright
If my trousers aren't right
Floral hipsters are just so passé!
I've just heard that Jon Snow's in the dock
for failing to adhere to the clock
like a well-dispatched fly
kept zipped, bye and bye
just listening to the tickity tock.
The problem with video games
Is they've got such ridiculous names
The Sims and the Lemmings
There's even Ian Flemming's
"Bond's Name Is No Longer James"
The trouble with very long bridges
Is they have lots of rust in long ridges
That's the problem with steel
Provided it's real
It attracts lots of magnetic midges
It'll soon be the Fifth of November
With fireworks and parkin, remember?
The Gunpowder Plot
Bonfires, hot
And annoying small brats, to dismember I'm not old and bitter, me..
The sixth of November will bring
The first signs of Global Warming
Unseas'nable weather
Cuckoos in't heather
And tides in the main street of Tring
just for Blob's benefit
The thing with the liner Aurora
Is it keeps getting smaller and smaller dodgy, but...
'Til it's just a mere speck.
but the people on deck
's arses are still getting sorer
In Paris, one might say it's chic
To be battre avec le 'ugly stick'
In the Rue de Montmartre
You can see Jean-Paul Sartre
Searching the ground for du fric
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who lived all his life in a bucket
To the end of his days
his oddly strange ways
were why passersby always struck it.
When invited to dine with the Queen,
Prince Phillip created a scene
He swore and he cussed
But Her Maj was non-plussed
by the way his nose glowed tangerine.
On a bath day, when losing the soap,
Is the best time for having a grope
For an innocent fumble
Is no cause to grumble
Just make sure the soap's on a rope!
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