Bernard Mathews latest TV dinner gimmick in the form of "under" Boiled Ham complete with plastic fork layed to rest in a styrafoam tray on a bed of dodgy cheese. The slogan runs along the lines of " If you can't be botherd with grilling and microwaving is not so thrilling then Fawkham!"............its bootifullllllllllllllllllllll

Denton

As in 'the Den-ton precedent' - procedural point of law involving cast members of TV soaps and exceeding the speed limit.

Worthing

Geordie for "Cosa Nostra".

Bootle

"Expenses" paid to rugby players in days gone by. (Raak) Top drawer!

Horwich

A female Wizard that makes more money by selling her body than she does casting spells and making potions!

Diggle

Dance involving shovels. [Raak] Bravo!

Dorking

Trainspotter hunting.

Sleaford

Edsel

Gomshall

A dramatic announcement made by a ventriloquist

Chagford

A river crossing guarded by a fierce ugly female troll.

Fukuoka

To hell with your yellow pigment!

Woolfardisworthy

Clothing material put aside for a particular and well deserved recipient.

Bristol

A town built especially to stop trains running into the River Seven.

Islington

The weight-throwing competition in The World's Strongest Man

Tissington

One of the two sides (the other being called Tissnington) in a dispute that has degenerated into exchanges of "Tis!" and "Tisn't!" Hansard, 6 December 1878: "Uproar in the House, followed by Tissington-Tissnington that continued for fully twenty minutes."

Poznan

Asserting the affermative to noe's grandmother.

Purton

Trade jargon, referring to the price of bulk industrial chemicals, eg methanol is about £200 Purton. (Softers) 'Oo's this noe, then? Noe needs to know. :-)

Mortlake

Yorkshire dialect meaning: "There is still a considerable amount of time before the final whistle." [Rosie] it were just a tpyo, mate.

Blunsdon

A cock-up, a hash, a pig's breakfast, as in, "You made a right Blunsdon of that, didn't you?" Also, the act of removing with extreme prejudice the person responsible for such an event, or a person marked for such removal. The word comes from Viscount Blunsdon, eldest son of Lord Cox-Bramley, who, rightly fearing that his heir lacked the business acumen to manage the family estates at such time as he might inherit, attempted to train him up by setting him to such tasks as managing the piggery, inspecting the drains, and collecting rent from the tenant farmers, but he displayed a complete lack of competence and initiative at everything his hand was set to. It was during the last of these appointments that he met an untimely end at the bottom of a well. Foul play was never proved, Lord Cox-Bramley's more industrious second son took his place in the line of succession, and everyone was satisfied.

Riveaulx

Norman word - the acts of removing permissions

Horsted Keynes

A new development of small fields built on a grid layout for race horses which will be available as soon as the unsightly houses on the site can be demolished

Lambeth

Affectionately named ewe. Chesterfield

Named after the famous revolutionary meaning "The place where terrorism is carried out" The final truncation being largely due to the slurring applied by George Dubya

Westonbirt

Someone who gives directions in terms of compass points, disregarding the existence of walls, buildings, railway lines, rivers, oceans, and all the other obstructions in the places where the roads aren't, that make it a physical impossibility to "go west for a few miles, then bear north, and you can't miss it".

Trabzon

Expression uttered by northeners whenever Rab is seen posting here.

Blakedown

The Japanese equivalent of the AA.

Leighton Buzzard

University Challenge contestant with slow reactions.

Louth

A gum disease of horses.

Snape

Very simple quick-fire upper-class card game. (Raak) Horrible, but good. :-)

Stoke Mandeville

The position accorded to new arrivals in Hell which involves keeping the fires burning.

Hindhead

A comic jape which involves thrusting the victim's head into the fundament of a horse.

Ploufragan

Corruption of Plough for a Gran, 18th Century Agricultural competition in which first prize was an elderly relative.

Wyre Piddle

Molten plastic found inside overheated electrical equipment.

Bothenhampton

A town-twinning arrangement that absolutely nobody cares about, not even the town councillors who performed the ritual. (From Böthen, a stereotypical name of a small village in Germany, and Hampton, the same in England.)

Abruzzi

A nasty/painful dark mark under the skin.

Medellin

Getting your sticky fingers into the drug trade.

Bovey Tracey

The flamboyant and slightly camp uncle who made a fleeting appearance in the original TV series of Thunderbirds.

Ampleforth

Lancs. dialect Euphemism for an overweight bridge player.

Heckmondwyke

Someone who heckles and, as the Scots would say, has his gas put on a peep by the wit of the performer's response, is said to be heckmondwyke. Etymologically, there is buried in the history of the expression a derogatory reference to oral sex.

Potters Bar

When a snooker player inadvertantly targets the wrong colour, he is said to be suffering from Potters Bar.

Bude

- the mild mental confusion experienced when confronting foreign plumbing for the first time

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