A squirrel with a heavy cold.

[Sir Henry] It may be now, but my 3d (3 old pence) "Souvenir Platform Ticket" (148mm x 50mm) has it as one word. Also I seem to remember that the Guiness Book of Records, (Longest place name in the UK,) has it as one word.

Liskeard

Adj., descriptive of a beard that is impregnated with saliva, food, and drink, due to its impractical voluminousness and the messy eating habits of its wearer.

Gdansk

A badly perfomed galloping polka with a man who doesn't realise his own strength. Usually results in a sprained wrist.

Skegness

The state of being skeggy

[Major Dennis] Aha - but go back a little more in time and it was called simply "Llanfair Pwllgwyngyll"

Devil's Dyke

A really nasty dam

[Sir H] on some cheap maps it appears as "Llanfair PG"

Writtle

Only used as the past participle, writtled, meaning old and decayed, like dried leaves etc.

Yeovil (Bloodnok) Llanfair PG is what the locals call it.

Where all the cool dudes live.

Ashton Keyhes

The result of burning wooden door keys.

Little Dunmow

Not got very far with cutting the grass.

Wookey Hole

1. The longest par five on any golf course in Somerset
2. Intimate part of large hairy lady alien's anatomy (coat!)

[Major D/Sir H] LPG?

[Softers] Best one for a while!

Widdenhill

RP reference to the stairs: 'tyme to clymb thee widdenhill to bedforsharr'.

[Bigsmith] no no no no NO!

Walcot

The proper term for a type of space-saving storage consisting of a curtain of fabric to be hung on a wall, into which are sewn many pockets for storing shoes and the like.

Bere Regis

A more potent and tasty version of Lager-and-Lyme Regis. Er, sorry about that.

Fawkham

Bernard Mathews latest TV dinner gimmick in the form of "under" Boiled Ham complete with plastic fork layed to rest in a styrafoam tray on a bed of dodgy cheese. The slogan runs along the lines of " If you can't be botherd with grilling and microwaving is not so thrilling then Fawkham!"............its bootifullllllllllllllllllllll

Denton

As in 'the Den-ton precedent' - procedural point of law involving cast members of TV soaps and exceeding the speed limit.

Worthing

Geordie for "Cosa Nostra".

Bootle

"Expenses" paid to rugby players in days gone by. (Raak) Top drawer!

Horwich

A female Wizard that makes more money by selling her body than she does casting spells and making potions!

Diggle

Dance involving shovels. [Raak] Bravo!

Dorking

Trainspotter hunting.

Sleaford