A village in the Shire known for having a large proportion of gay hobbits.

Great Blasket

A rare diving bird found off the coasts of the Scilly Isles, the Great Blasket feeds on tourists, and so its numbers are threatening to grow.

Hugh Town

A place where grants are available to the gormless.

Waitara

The thing you have to constantly say to Tara PT when your out shopping for a new Porsche....

Palma

A mummy's boy.

Malmesbury

Her Majesty's cheese.

Armitage

A place where a knight makes a solitary vigil the night before a quest.

Gweedere

The Manx name for a gardener who's job it is to remove weeds from flower beds and moss from lawns.

Heyrod

Constables follow up picture that never quite made the grade

Flitwick

a Casanova

Cricklade

Awkward sleeping posture. (plump, Softers) Top stuff!

Connah's Quay

The place where a tourist ferry pulls up, and touts of various sorts try to fleece them.

Cleethorpes

Clee is the old slang word for clay and Thorpes is the old English word for pipe or pipes. Hence, Cleethorpes are Clay-pipes (of the smoking variety)

Blacon

Chinese pig comestible

Otley

Large round tea bags made for groups rather than the individual ones

Podington

Podington is the temporary camp set up for the podingers who gather annually for the Great Pode Hunt. What the Pode is is a closely guarded secret.

Whauphill

A common athletic muscular strain believed to be one of the more easily curable causes of impotence.

Stoke Goldington

Very potent Ganja. It has 4 times the strength of "Skunk Weed" and can make all but the hardiest of users go blind.......Bob Marley used to smoke at least 7ozs of Stoke Goldington a day!!!

Tetbury

A French ostrich farm

Bexwell

A purported tourist attraction which consists of something rather uninteresting given a picturesque and largely fictitious historical background. For example, a natural spring in a corner of a field that someone put a wall around way back in 1932 and called "Beck's Well".

Dunfermline

The mystical art of laying out (lining out) any large sports arena, playing field. Once finished the head lines man will utter the mystical chant DONE FER MY LINE, which signals the job done and the area is then ready to play on...

Fleetwood

A type of mac.

Roxbourne

The principal activity in the Geological Maternity Ward.

Plymouth

A vocal affliction common among those who ply their wares in the street. To reduce the strain on their voices, they make as little use of the vocal articulatory apparatus as possible, reducing the words to barely recognisable grunts and moans.

Cornwall

The home-run boundary in the film Field of Dreams, which would have been shot partly in southwestern England if the local lobby that had the region renamed had been successful. Not specifically mentioned in the film because of the obvious irrelevance of any part of the field more than five feet ahead while Kevin Costner is batting; cf. "Irrigationditchdugout," "Cowdroppingshomeplate," "Nameyourownagriculturalimplementpairedwithbaseballterm," and the particularly ornery "Bullpen."

Leeds

Old English term meaning the meeting place of sheep.

Sandbach

A small Welsh bricklayer's mate.

Borrowash

To recycle the bath water, ie putting multiple children in the same bath then using the water to wash the pots afterwards. Also a slang term used for those dodgy memebers of society that pinch ladies underware from washing lines!!

Laxey

The state of the "Ais Gill" (qv.) after six pints of Winter Warmer and a Dansak Madras.

Biblins

Multiple chins.

Pomerania

Australian fascination with all things British, verging on the obsessive.

Down Hatherley

Non-clinical depression, Yorkshire style, as in " . . .tha's lookin reet Down 'Atherley". There's been some good stuff here recently, ignoring this one. :-)

Sole Street

A thoroughfare in which most businesses are shoe markers or shoe repairers.

Cobblers

Support band for Blur Folkstone

Sorry - (one day I shall leave HTMHell)

Folkstone

The average pitch of the human voice.

Stroud

A noisy walking movement

llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch

Medical term: speech impediment.

Pontefract

A bridge that has become unsuitable for HGVs ever since one tried to drive over it.

Wenlock Edge

A nervious time at my local pub Wenlock Arms [Sir Henry] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch is one word, no hyphen.

Crowlands

The secret stash of nasal crumblies (Crows/Bogies) that children often collect under school-desks when a sleeve or handkerchief is not to hand!!

Bolton