Barry is well again.

Shipley

In a nautical manner.

Maidstone

A charm for protecting one's virginity.

Dun Laoghaire

(Pron. "Dunleary"): Technical term for someone who is so drunk they can't even ogle.

Tralee

(Pron Trali) Australian wheeled cart used in sheep stations for removal of fleeces after sheering


Chapmanslade

Jelly used to relieve "athlete's itch."

Tuscaloosa

Elephant dentist.

Lisbon

The complimentary sweets left on your hotel room pillow. Often foul tasting and made of mocolate (pretend chocolate).

Tintwistle

Yorkshire dialect for "It is not a whistle"

Nottingham

New non-invasive form of vasectomy.

Brasted

One of those plastic thingies used in lingery shop windows to display female underwear.

Acton Turville

Pretending to be a great Welsh baritone. (Softers) Unfortunately it's "Bray-sted". :-(

Craven Arms

The feeling of really really needing a hug.

Selma

The name of a brand of salt substitute consisting of small white crystals but otherwise having nothing in common with salt.

Midgeley

A village half way between Uppergeley and Lowergeley.

Acton Turville

You've just done that, you old codger. 'Ave anuvver go, mate. :-)

Have I? Showing my age. :-(
Let's try:
Upper Seagry

Losing the contents of one's digestive system through the upper end, due to seasickness. The more inconvenient Lower Seagry is fortunately less common.

Tirstrup

A narrow band of cloth used to bind the feet after removing after removing an inconvenient thorn, drawing pin or Stickle Brick. The middle of the band is wrapped around the affected area of foot, then the loose ends are criss-crossed around the ankle and lower leg to above the point of the calf where they are knotted. A tirstrup is sturdy (it won't come off even if worn under heavy boots) and can act as a tourniquet if necessary (should the would be the result of snake bite, say).

Derwent