Either
1. The only sound one is capable of the morning after a night clubbing.
2. The noise generated by a small child when confronted by Brussels sprouts.

Canewdon

A secluded place by the bank of a river in the grounds of a Canadian university where elderly faculty go for nude sunbathing.

Sligo

Shorthand domestic phrase, as in "that's the front door - sligo, or will you?"

Stoke Mandeville

A free sample offered by a drug dealer to a new client. (Basically meaning 'It's grass - on the house, man').

Shetland

Old Scottish. Being in that state of badly needing a poo but having nowhere suitable to do the deed.

Durham

Boiled ham that has started to turn a bright green colour

Portmulgrave

A formerly thriving coastal town which no longer has any reason to exist, having no significant trade, natural resources, historical remains, or scenic vistas, nor being on the way to anywhere else. The East Anglian coast contains many portmulgraves.

Auchtermuchtie