Farleigh Wallop (pr. farly wollup) To hit a cricket ball a bloody long way Piddlehinton

Sorry

Piddlehinton

Having parked in a lay-by, to walk inordinately far through the bushes in search of a place to take a leak where you will not be observed from the road.

Cranstackie

A small building which appears to consist entirely of corners, whether viewed from inside or outside, and generally resembles a cottage for the more architecturally challenged kind of witch.

Mallaig

An old Lancashire dish - a luxurious pudding made of milk, lard, and slightly off eggs. Utterly revolting.

Bloxham

A pharmaceutical trade name, ca. 1950. When you went abroad in those days you always took these little pills with you. You know what the water's like in those places.

Leatherhead

A slang term which is to football what "punch-drunk" is to boxing: minor brain damage inflicted by repeated blows to the head, in this case incurred particularly by aging centre-forwards from heading the ball too often. Particularly prevalent three or four decades ago, when the football was generally (a) heavier, and more importantly (b) more absorbent of water, therefore heavier still in rainy conditions, which was (and remains) most of the football season. Less prevalent now, for obvious reasons, and Gascoigne is *not* an example (almost never headed a ball in his life, he really *is* that dumb naturally.

Istanbul