mc5 - Conversation ƒtoppers

In the words of Dunx: "I suppose it's a long way off yet, but listening to this week's ISIHAC I liked the game of "Opening Lines" where the players would provide a line guaranteed to end the conversation with famous personages. Eg - "So, Mr Bush - is English your first language?" "Table for Mr Stringfellow and his granddaughter!" To Rod Hull - "Where's your emu?" Well, it made me laugh a lot anyway."

Darren

Actually, if you mean Eric Sykes, how about "Oi, mate, I'm talking to you. Are you deaf or what?" The same thing works for Beethoven, assuming he stops being dead.

David Beckham: "How's the wife?...er, okay then....how's work?"

Anne Boleyn: "Fancy a walk around the block?"

Michael Jackson: "And how are the kids?"

I hate myself! :p

Dujon

"Hello, Mr Cleese, how's the wife, err, Sybil isn't it?"

Inkspot

"Could I have a signed nude photo, please Jade; for my brother"

Raak

"Still not King then, Charles?"

Breadmaster

Jackson Pollock - My six-year-old does that too. Takes an age to clean up, doesn't it?

Breadmaster

Christina Aguilera - Everything else in the wash, eh?

Deek

Happy Birthday, Britney, I've bought you some singing lessons.

Darren

Any of those Big Brother wastes-of-carbon: So, have you been anywhere nice lately?

Breadmaster

George Best - "Double G&T then, George? Come on, yer great girl's blouse!"

Kim

Jonathan Ross - "Here's the guest list for tonight's show, Jonathan: Actress Deborah Raffin, tennis ace Greg Ruzedski, Screen Legend Theresa Russell and music by rock & roll legends Radiohead".

widey

In very very poor taste.......... So Mr Hitler which do you prefer cooking with, gas or electric?......................

Tracey Emin: "I hope you've made your bed!"

Leonardo to Mona Lisa: "...and wipe that smile off your face!"

John Constable: "Tell me, why did you call that bloke in the cart 'Wayne?'"

Nero: "My God! I thought you'd stood on the cat while trying to escape from the blaze!"

Rosie

Andrew Lloyd-Webber: "Of course, the great days of the Musical were just after the War."

Dujon

Neville Chamberlain - "Are you still collecting autographs?"