arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Corporation Dustcart
help
Michael Grade has just been appointed Director General of the BBC, and, true to form, wants a clearout. Please provide inappropriate sentences that sound the death knell for a radio or television programme (for example: The Money Programme - Has anyone got 50p for the meter? or Upstairs Downstairs - "Rose! We're moving into a bungalow!"). Since Grade believes that he has God-like powers, you don't have to stick to the BBC.
arrow_circle_up
"Al Qaeda operatives have hidden a cache of weapons somewhere in this mountain range. Can the team find it, while not walking into any minefields or booby traps?"

Star Trek (the entire canon and spinoffs)

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it. Beam me aboard, quickly , Scotty.

Colombo

Sponsored from now on by Johnson's Dry Cleaners

Horizon

So up yours Lord Hutton.

The Magic Roundabout
"You know" said dillon "I wonder if Florence is a virgin"

Dangermouse

"Well, he's definitely not the mild mannered janitor."

Trumpton

"What a wonderful place to build a new town!" said Bob the Builder.

So Graham Norton

" ... and for the remainder of the series, all shows wil be recorded at The Monaghan Trappist Monastery"

Eurotrash

"... and now an in-depth report about landfill management in Germany."

Room 101

"..Since the entire audience agrees, we will have to put Room 101 into Room 101"

Ready Steady Cook

Bzzzzzzt!! Repetition! I think it near the beginning of the game
Actually that would be quite a decent series closer so if you'll allow me, INJ, to nominate another?

Hell's Kitchen

"This week, a top chef gives Satan tips on cooking human flesh with fire, sulphur, and brimstone."

Today

"And now a report from the BBC archives..."
One Man and His Dog
"Normally, we'd insist on there being a bit more distance between him and the dog, and that he should wear clothes, but he seems to be enjoying himself nonetheless."

Panorama

Today we investigate the new technology, shortly to be released to not only sporting telecasters but also oursleves, called 'tunnelvision'. [Darren] Done earlier by Software and rab

Match of the Day

Number Three. The Swan Vesta. [pause] The Swan Vesta.

Murphy's Law
But first, a party political broadcast.

Murder She Wrote

"Damn, out of ink ribbon." [UK] a-HA-ha-ha-ha!

Masterpiece Theatre
"In a ground breaking televisual event, Ant and Dec will star in a live action version of Bill and Ben"

Top of the Pops

"No move at number one for Bryan Houston's 'I Will Always Do Everything That It Is That I Do For You', holding onto the top spot for a shattering four-hundred-and-thirty-seven weeks!"

Family Fortunes

(That joke once was topical)
"And playing against them we have the Beckham Family. Meet David, Victoria, Brooklyn..."

Father Ted

"...a new series, featuring all of the original cast" coat...

The National Lottery
"The numbers are... 1... 1... 1... 1... 1, and... 1. The bonus ball is... 1."

Newsnight Review

"Do you know what? I agree with you."

Newsnight
"I love you, Minister."

Blackadder

"as cunning as very cunning thing, that wrote a learned thesis on cunning, published by the cunning press, etc, etc,etc (slap)"

Countdown
British UFO Files What the F**k was that??? F**ked if I know!!!
Come ON! Too much repetition. Countdown's been 'done' already, as have at least 3 more on this page. Declaring originality with ...

Scrapheap Challenge

"And this week, can a team of former future Prime Ministers build a viable opposition government from nothing but a stack of dead wood?"

Composer of the Week

"This weeks featured composer is Rolf Harris. Rolf's contribution to the popularity of the Stylophone..."

Teletubbies

"one day, in teletubby land, Tinky Winky was off his face, while Laa Laa and Dipsy went twos on his crack pipe."

sorry, I thought I checked that out.........

The Simpsons
"We now regard this programme as a disaster of Homeric proportions".

A book at bedtime

"Tonight, the Slough Telephone Directory."

Only Fools and Horses

"And now, show jumping from Hickstead."

Desert island disks

arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord