Why the hell have none of you had the common decency to wait until I had arrived? I might have known you'd all just waste the best part of a week covering the MC board in your spittle without me to point you in the right direction. Which is, as any fool knows, Shepherd's Bush. Now make an effort.

What?

Do wake up. I'm not going to go through all that again.

[Darren] Frankly I'd rather you didn't. It was an assault on my sensibilities the first time, a second dose would awaken murderous inclinations. Besides, why waste time opening your mouth if you're not even going to make a move to take the game on a notch? You're all a load of dithering idiots. Perhaps if I speak in TV advertising slogans, the message might just make it through your thick goggle-eyed skulls. Just do it... Finchley Road

[Dazed5] Call that an insult? I call it a pathetic excuse for a compliment. Now, because you're kinda new round here, and not yet labelled as a total waste of space (though, give it time... 5 minutes should do it if you carry on in that limp fashion), I'm going to go easy on you, and point out that references to the Rt Hon Ann Widdecombe are completely inappropriate in this game, and if you had two particles of intelligence to rub together, you'd have realised that already. No, for the lack-lustre, no-brain self-styled player with the experience of a crippled jellyfish the correct posture is to retire into foul language and bathroom humour, in order to attract the deserved approbium of the masses. Oh, and DO remember to choose a really dumb move, like Bank.