[penelope] On second thoughts, a single ostrich feather, strategically placed. You may use it to write out ten thousand times the Maelberg-Venneling classification theorem.

Well, f*ck you all as I've got a move that'll get on your f*cking nerves, and there's nothing at all you can f*cking do about it. Dollis Hell

[GIII] Well that helps. Thanks a lot. Enjoying this?

Reading this unmitigated shite reminds me of the story that a thousand monkeys, given infinite time, will eventually write the works of Shakespeare. This is like reading the stuff they got down on day bastarding one! You lot couldn't see a fucking sigma diagonal if it came and bit you on your over-developed arses. Goodge St. should put this bloody game on track again. Jesus..why do I bother?!

[pen] No, it's crap.

dazed5] take your sigma diagonals and all that other tripe you have in your tiny tiny mind and stick them up your gaping arsehole.

COCKfosters natch.

Whoopee! big deal, yawnsvile, is that it? the quality of other peoples moves is straining credulity beyond breaking point. Buck up your F***ing ideas. Surely one of you is capable of doing something slightly reasonable, stop behaving like a bunch of pathetic inebriated imbeciles, only able to make purile infantile moves. Green Park

Latimer ROAD for Christs sake! Green park was about as useful as Ann Widdecombe's fanny! Have you lot ever played this game before? You are taking the piss.

The words of Mercury are sweet after the songs of Apollyon. You that way; we to Mornington Crescent.

You do realise -- well, of course you don't -- that the win has been lying wide open for nine moves? But no, you all display as much insight and verve as a treeful of blind three-toed sloths with senile dementia. Here, Dazed5, have a tub of clue musk, I believe the clue mating season is beginning. For Inkspot, a dictionary to improve his spelling. For the dogmael, my brief ten-volume monograph on bidiagonal openings will give him a satisfactory grounding in the basics he has clearly been too hasty to trouble to learn, after which he may at least be able to make his first move without attracting the scorn of real players who may have hoped to face an opponent possessed of some real knowledge. For penelope, a puce feather boa. For the rest, a bucket of pshaws and ptuis to distribute as you wish. It has been a pleasure -- to finish the game.

And st dogmael, next time try to initialise the game with the proper final move. Really, sabotaging the system is as fatuous as stealing a karate master's black belt and imagining you can fight him on equal terms.