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50 Ways To....
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This was Kevan's idea (see MCiOS chat room). It's based on the song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" ("You just slip out the back, Jack; Make a new plan, Stan....") Well, there have to be 50 ways to do other tasks, right? So, off we jolly well go, Joe!
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36. Climb a clock that's big, Ben.
37. Enter BBC Talent at www.bbc.co.uk , Ray
38. Record yourself with a camcorder and play it back on your own set, Jet.
39. Get caught doing that with a minor (playing it back on your telly), Kelly ooh slightly outdated yet topical [Inkspot] Sublime!
Do a public strip-tease, Louise
41 Voice over a documentary, Terry
42. Make an advert, Kurt.
Stalk Mathew Kelly, Nellie (perish the thought!)
44. Kill the annoying purple Barney, Killarney.
45. Hold the world to ransom, Hanson
46 Commontate on the Cup Final, Lionel
47.Put Trinny's head down the pan, Susanne ...(artistic licience declared)
48. Become a weather girl, Shirl. (Been going on for a while, hasnt it, this one?)
Don't do what they want you to, Bartholomew.
50. Write the credits at the end, friend.
how about...
50 Ways to Lose Your Liver

1. Start with some gin, Lynne.
2. Keep knocking back the sherry, Cherie.
3. Donate organs before you're dead, Fred. Two sides to every story
3. Take all possible steps to avoid a carcinoma, Homer. And yet a third.
4 Don't forget the rum, mum.
5. When you're eating liver and bacon, keep the bacon but throw away what remains, Brains.
7. Behave like George Best, Celeste.
8. Put away a skinful of Theakston's Old Peculier, Julia.
Share a needle wih a junkie, Monkey.
10. Drink yourself under the table, Mabel.
[When mom ain't lookin'] sneak it under the table to Ol' Rover, Grover.
The last one was [it was]!
12. Drink a flagon of scumpy with every meal, Neil.
13. Promise a loan shark a pound of your mortal flesh, Ramesh.
14. Don't keep loads of booze in the house, Klaus.
15. If you're the city the Beatles came from, change your name to "pool," Zool.
16. A bottle of whiskey a day, Ray.
17. Drink a bottle of whisky a day, Jay. Far more potent!
18 Juggle with a chainsaw, Tor.
19 Drink dodgy foreign water, daughter.
20. Impale thyself on a meat hook, ye crook.
21. Take a midnight stroll with Jack The Ripper, Gipper.
22. Sign your organ donor card, M'Lord.
[i'm finished now!]
23. Try to avoid hepatitis, Titus.
24. Stay off the Vitamin A, Kay.
25. Sell it on Ebay, Jay.
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