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50 Ways To....
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This was Kevan's idea (see MCiOS chat room). It's based on the song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" ("You just slip out the back, Jack; Make a new plan, Stan....") Well, there have to be 50 ways to do other tasks, right? So, off we jolly well go, Joe!
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5. Knock down a weight-bearing wall, Paul.
6. Use reflective glass in your window, Glenda.
1. Wallpaper the tiles, Miles.
7.Splatter paint tea bags at the ceiling, Rose.
1..2...3....4.....5......6.......7.......Oh, I know this, I know this, don't rush me...no its gone
er 9?Upgrade to mixer taps, Babs.
10. Get the mix (and numbers) right, Dwight.
11? Declare UDI, Si, and set yourself free
12. Use rockwool to insulate the loft, Lara Croft
13 Install a new patio, Super Mario.
14. Install Venetian blinds, Heinz.
15. Clean out the cellar, Arabella
16. Add a few aisles, Charles.
17. Convert it into a tip, Pip.
18. Cover everything in throws, Rose.
19. When buyers call, fill the place with the aroma of fresh coffee, Boffy?
20. Dump all clutter, like that extraneous question mark, Mark.
21.Play charades, LeStrade.
22. Deck the terrace with a liana, Indiana.
23. Add some architrave, Dave.
24 Convert your loft so it's Catholic, Patrick.
25. Wipe the door, Handel.
Add a conservatory, Rory.
I said 26, I did, really!
27. Make sure your house has the correct numberin', Kim.
28 Change the house number from an odd to an even, Steven
29 Put up a dado; Dido
30. Render the wall, Paul
31. Repaint your table, Mable.
32. Have a lean-to like a tutu, Tito.
33. Study Feng Shui, Louie.
34. Take exams in Feng Shui, Fay. alternate pronunciation invoked
Breadmaster 35 Don't use that ridiculous Feng Shui, Dee. other pronunciation inserted
Brighten your pine with felt pen, Ken.
37 Hoover the Rug, Doug
38. Hang a new chandelier, Néa.
Keep a pet shark Clarke!
Remove all the slate, mate       Sorry to be so familiar   :-(
Get rid of that Welsh Dresser, Vanessa.
Replace the flock, Jock.
That was 42.   Hrrmph!
Just to prove it    43. Rip out the ceil, Neil.
44. Build a jacuzzi, Susie.
45. Install a new pan, Jan.
46. Plumb the bidet, May.
47. Put up a shelf, Dolph.
48 Chuck out the chintz (!?), Vince
49. Rearrange the chair, Claire
50. Make the stair into a slide, Clyde
May I suggest another?
50 Ways To Start a Riot
1. Light a fire by the prison gate, Kate
2. Declare war, Thor.
3. Tell the Queen she's a has-been, Dean
4. Protest against tax, Max.
5. Let them eat cake, Jake.
6.Piss in someone's beer, Dear
7. Mention the footy, Sooty.
8. Insult someone's Mum, Friedrich. Can't be bothered rhyming. I'll make up for it next time...
Blame your farts on the judge, Tuj.
And that, guys'n'gals, was a new arrival in the charts at number 8.
I mean 9. It has been a long day.
10 Insult the police, Maurice. invoking non-British pronunciation
11.Refuse to pay for a loaf of bread, Fred.
12. Hurl lots of pasta, master. "inappropriate servitude" invoked
Murder Mr Tony Blair,Cher
14. Make someone's wife squeal at your sexual appeal, Neil. 3 for 2 invoked
15.Murder, cook and eat your own lodger, Roger.
16. Stop broadcasting any telly, Kelly.
17. Miss an open goal, Cole.
18. Break MC rules, Jules.    Careful, Chalky (see ZK's entry - No.7 above) ... :-)
praise the benefits of genocide, Clyde (not very nice!)
20. Say everyone's a crook, Luke.
[Dujon] *goes mad with a machine gun* ;) 21. Kill Justin Timberlake, Jake.(A way to incite mad and joyous riots variously against the differing markets and target groups, I suppose)
22 Get in someones face, Grace
Be a racist pig, Stig
24. Cheat playing chess, Bess.
25. Invade a country and steal their oil, Doyle.
Bomb Iraq, Jack!
Chase a kid on his bike, Spike
28. Don't kill Justin Timberlake, Jake. Had to be done for a balanced view
29. Flash your tit, Janet.
30.Try to crash a rave, Dave.
[Snodgrass - ooh topical!]
31. Eat all your housemates stew, Lou.
32 Step on someones toe, Joe [Snorgle - How kind of you to notice]
33. Qu'ils mangent de la brioche, Josh.
34. Allow a blatantly offside goal, Joel. (Kim) Class!
35. Raise income tax by a pony, Tony.
36. Adopt a bold font for your stance, Lance.
37. Over-use Bad HTML, Mel.
38. Torch a few cars, Lars [Kim] Very nice...
39 Throw a molotov cocktail, Abigail.
40. Hit a PC with a brick, Rick.
42. Start the looting, Putin
43. Keep disputin', Rasputin.
44. Drop a bomb anywhere in Asia, Anastasia.
45 Kill a kid, Sid
46. Assassinate the Crown Prince, Vince.
47. Introduce the Poll Tax, Maggs.
48. Issue a primal scream, Dean.
49. Insert an extra fourteen syllables into a certain metrical reading at a poetry recital full of pedants, Lance.
50. Insert a horizontal line in the wrong place, Ace.

How about [for you travel lovers] ...
50 Ways To Circumnavigate The Earth

1. Traverse the Amazon Basin, Jason.
2 Head up the Nile, Kyle
Take a jet plane, Jane
4. Climb on a Penny-farthing, Martin
3. Hop on the ferry, Kerry
ugh. sorry, should have been 5. It's been a long week.....
6 Just use your own feet, Reet
7. Go up in a balloon, June.
8.Mail yourself to Timbuktu, Pru.
9 Go with someone from Monty Python, Typhon.
10. Summon Sir Francis Drake, Jake.
11. Just hop on a bus, Gus ... Wait, that sounds familiar...
12. Assume a low earth orbit in a pod, Rod
13. Get pedalling on your bike, Mike.
14. Catch the express, Jess.
15. Try feathers and wax, Max.
16. Sail on the Kontiki, Mickey.
17. Take an airship, Chip.
18. Strap yourself to a rocket, Crockett.
19. Ride the salt wave, Dave.
Fly through the sky, Guy
Or take a ship, Pip
22. Paddle your own canoe, Sue.
23. Cross the Serengeti, Betty.
24. Walk beside the Panama Canal, Ranulph.
26. Start by jogging down the parade, Sinead.
26. Pretend it's a marathon, Jonathan.
27. Sail off in a yacht, Dot.
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