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Good News / Bad News
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Right, another chance to alternately build our spirits up and then disappoint them. I can't be bothered to change the winning move so it's still Mornington Crescent.
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Good News
They get on so well they decide to play the game together instead, and you can leave them to it.
Bad News
You've got nothing else to do all day now no-one'll play you at draughts, so you end up watching.
Good News
The Governor, a well known Manchester City supporter has decided to throw a party for all the inmates.
Bad News
Most of them support Man U, as might be expected.
Good News
That means you're the governor's favourite.
Bad News
Being the Gov's favourite means that you will get beaten up every day in the toilet block and only get the burnt bits in the dining hall.
Good News
You actually quite like the burnt bits.
Bad Nose
Zat iz all ou are gettong, frome noo oon!
Good News
At least you don't support Ipswich Town. Not a common affliction, but a painful one
Bad News
You support Wimbledon. A very uncommon affliction indeed. Actually I support Chelsea and have done so for 48 years. Never taken themselves too seriously, I'm glad to say; winning something would be rather vulgar, I feel. :-)
Good News
But at least they've moved to Milton Keynes so there is no way you will accidentally wander into the ground on match days. C'mon U R's - Super Hoops!
Bad News
Owing to the limited space in Milton Keynes, Wimbledon is going to merge with the Open University.
Good News
The chanting from the stands is now grammatically correct
Bad News
It's not quite so catchy.
Good News
Simon Cowell wants to record the team song.
Bad News
He wants to play it to us later.
Good News
The Mute button's working OK. (Snodders) Only been once to Loftus Rd, and saw them beaten 6-3 at home by Reading. All I can remember is that it was a warm midweek night and research shows it was 21st Aug 1961.
Bad News
But the window is open and the sound will get through anyway. [Rosie] Mmmm It may have changed a bit since 1961. Heavens we all have! It obviously had a profound effect on you though - to remember it so vividly. If you go again before neat April you will still qualify as a regular though. I get to more away games - living in Leicester (Dont ask).
Good News
It's actually quite good.
Bad News
There is such a thing as damning with faint praise.
Good News
You've gone deaf and can't hear it
Bad News
The angry mob outside your door can.
Good News
Your door is a vortex leading to a magical world of tiny shrimps made from candy and all the women look like Kylie...
Bad News
Kylie is very overrated.
Good News
Not by many people here, I would imagine, or at least hope.
Bad News
Kylies bum wants a trial seperation and a cut of the profits!
Good News
Gordon Brown has not raised the duty on Kylie related products.
Bad News
There is an danger of a KY reference entering the conversation. Slippery customers these Politicians - I should know.
Good News
I think Kirsty Young is a bit of all right. (Snodders) You're not a . . . .? ?
Bad News
She's probably spoken for! [Rosie] I wasn't last time I looked....!!
Good News
She requires so much speaking for, she employs people to deliver her after dinner speeches. [Snodgrass] There's no need to be ashamed you know...;P
Bad News
The next tme she looks, she discovers she is a politican!
Good News
It's not compulsory to vote for her.
Bad News
It's not compulsory to vote. Ooh, controversial.
Good News
Most voters are stupid anyway, so the fewer of them vote the better. Upping the controversy ante...
Bad News
The abstention rate amongst the stupid may be no higher than amongst the intelligent.
Good News
Its Saturday and the politicos are all in their constituencies kissing hands and shaking babies and keeping well off our TV's allowing us to concentrate on the Rugby. Well something like that.
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