Caryl Chessman will be the adjudicator.

They get on so well they decide to play the game together instead, and you can leave them to it.

You've got nothing else to do all day now no-one'll play you at draughts, so you end up watching.

The Governor, a well known Manchester City supporter has decided to throw a party for all the inmates.

Most of them support Man U, as might be expected.

That means you're the governor's favourite.

Being the Gov's favourite means that you will get beaten up every day in the toilet block and only get the burnt bits in the dining hall.

You actually quite like the burnt bits.

Zat iz all ou are gettong, frome noo oon!

At least you don't support Ipswich Town. Not a common affliction, but a painful one

You support Wimbledon. A very uncommon affliction indeed. Actually I support Chelsea and have done so for 48 years. Never taken themselves too seriously, I'm glad to say; winning something would be rather vulgar, I feel. :-)

But at least they've moved to Milton Keynes so there is no way you will accidentally wander into the ground on match days. C'mon U R's - Super Hoops!

Owing to the limited space in Milton Keynes, Wimbledon is going to merge with the Open University.

The chanting from the stands is now grammatically correct

It's not quite so catchy.

Simon Cowell wants to record the team song.

He wants to play it to us later.

The Mute button's working OK. (Snodders) Only been once to Loftus Rd, and saw them beaten 6-3 at home by Reading. All I can remember is that it was a warm midweek night and research shows it was 21st Aug 1961.

But the window is open and the sound will get through anyway. [Rosie] Mmmm It may have changed a bit since 1961. Heavens we all have! It obviously had a profound effect on you though - to remember it so vividly. If you go again before neat April you will still qualify as a regular though. I get to more away games - living in Leicester (Dont ask).

It's actually quite good.

There is such a thing as damning with faint praise.