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Good News / Bad News
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Right, another chance to alternately build our spirits up and then disappoint them. I can't be bothered to change the winning move so it's still Mornington Crescent.
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good news
poverty focuses your mind on your addictions..you decline that glass of Pinot Gris proferred by Gordon Brown on the Underground at Midnight
Bad News
You accept a swig from the bottle in the brown paper bag from the tramp sitting next to him.
Good News
Hey maaan, it's marijuana vodka.
Bad News
Gordon Brown is sitting next to David Blunkett.
marijuana vodka? don't play with me - where is it?
Good News
They don't see you as they are both stoned
Bad News
Gordon Brown took your number and promised to call
Good News
You gave him the number of a sex line.
Bad News
It is YOUR sex line.
Good News
Your sex line brings in several thousand pounds a month!
Bad News
Bad News
Bad News
Your sex-line is about to be closed down by the new fearsome OFCOM. (I think I have spilt too much tea in my keyboard :-( )
Good News
Spilt tea in the keyboard of the computer controlling the sex-line telephone exchange puts paid to the enterprise before OFCOM can paste a closure notice on it and issue you with a warrant. Phew!
Bad news
Your computer is broke, and so are you. I can speak english, really.
Good News
Your weary history of insomnia enables you to win first prize in the mind numbingly awful Channel FourTV 'show' "Shattered".
Bad News
Your so tired you don't really care and neither does the single member of the viewing public who botherd to tune in (by mistake)!
Bad News
The History of Insomnia is the provisional title of a new documentary from David Attenborough.
Damn!
That was supposed to read Good News
Bad News
If Attenborough's gone that far down the pan that's the end of civilisation as we know it.
Good News
Ah ha! But if this project comes to fruition insomnia is cured.
Bad News
For the makers of Zopiclone and other such sedatives/night sedation!
Good News
Civilization as we know it has ended so now we can all return to "Reality TV" and Eastenders.
Bad News
You're appearing in the next reality show, in which you have to be a stuntman for an episode of Eastenders.
Good News
The latest incident in Eastenders involves Alfie drowning in a vat of beer.
Bad News
It's KwikSave's own-label lager-style beer, which retails at 20p per pint.
Good News
Everyone mourns Alfie so much that they end Eastenders. Forever.
Bad News
It's replaced by Westenders, a soap opera set among the theatre-going chattering classes.
Good News
At least it won't take six of them to make a brain.
Bad News
It will take seven.
Good News
Seven is the scriptwriter's luck number, so he will gamble everything he has on roulette.
Bad News
The roulette wheel is made out of swiss roll shaped french cheese, the casino is really a front for some bent butchers money laundering scam and you are accused of interfering with a dozen disabled dolphins by your unworthy peers.
Good News
The unworthy peer is Lord Archer. Oblig.
Bad News
Your DNA was found on one of the aforementioned porpoise, a pork pie is located in your make up drawer and thats Port Salut in your hair!
Good News
The pork pie tasted really nice with that slice of wild garden pickle (see other game!)
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord