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Good News / Bad News
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Right, another chance to alternately build our spirits up and then disappoint them. I can't be bothered to change the winning move so it's still Mornington Crescent.
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Good News
You got rid of all that filthy French beer and garlic.
Bad News
No you didn't. It was right there, and in the open now.
Good News
Better out than in.
Bad News
Okay, but there's your liver as well.
Good News
There are a group of surgeons on board, returning from a European conference.
Bad News
Half of them are vomiting over the side and the other half are waiting their turn.
Good news
The mighty ocean is indifferent to their suffering, and its products.
Bad News
The fish who live in it, though, are none too thrilled.
Good News
They'll eat anything.
Bad News
We have to eat them.
Good News
I'm a proper vegetarian so I don't eat fish. Only Linda McCartney.
Bad News
Rab's a proper vegetarian so he doesn't eat fish, only Linda McCartney
Good News
Linda McCartney is ready to help with my liver.
Bad News
There must be another Linda McCartney.
Good News
Paul McCartney's a knight. His staff put him on his charger each morning. Who said he couldn't cut it with AC/DC?
Bad News
Paul has blown a fuse because Heather has a short in one leg.
Good News
The Beatles are planning a comeback. (?!)
Bad News
All four of them will be on the tour.
Good News
They'll be playing open air venues [Dujon & plump]heheheeh :o)
Bad News
...in Chittagong during monsoon season. (If Paul & Heather are dancing, and he spins her around on the wrong leg, does she get taller?)
Good News
[Dr Q - ewwwwwwwwww!] Paul McCartney's become a new dad
That's old news. But it means there may be yet another McCartney telling us what to eat/wear/do/sing/etc
(I like doing it this way!)*changing the subject* The new Lord of the Rings movie is out!
Bad news
The film buffs have already found 33 mistakes in it, and those aren't the ones related to the book!
Good News
Most people didn't notice and had a thoroughly enjoyable time watching an exciting movie.
Bad News
We'll all have to hear over and over again how much it draws from box-office receipts.
Good News
If it draws enough, Peter Jackson will get to film The Hobbit.
Bad News
Michael Jackson already has. Allegedly.
Good News
Michael Jackson has a lot of 'Allegedlys' pending right now. Maybe one or two of them will stick and we won't be subjected to any more of his t*ss.
Bad News
Not until after his UK visit though.
Good News
He couldn't do anything questionable on Christmas....
Bad News
In the US legal system, you can get aay with murger if you are rich and prominent enough, as it seems.
Good News
"Murger" is the offence of owning a horse and carriage while having less than three barrels of tobacco to one's name.
Bad News
Three barrely of tobacco are unaffordable - unless you buy them in France.
Good News
I don't smoke.
Bad News
At least I didn't until I caught my sleeve in a passing campfire
Good News
Fortunately the Fire brigade were quick in their response.
Bad News
The Imperial Leather adverts don't work in real life.
good news
There are plenty more soaps on the TV.
Bad News
But they don't work either - or if they do, you'll end up with an unsightly rash.
Good news
Sudocrem is good for rashes and babies!
Bad News
Its not a good substitute for whipped cream.
Good News
Nothing like a good whipping.
Bad News
They eat whippets in Korea.
Good News
Whippets are down due to a new, non-high-forming gas they're putting in the cream containers.
Bad News
If you re arrange the letters in Korea you get an orange drink that brings me out in boils!
Good News
At least they're better than the bubos I had last week
Bad News
If you rearrange the letters in Korea their tyrannical Post Office will have you summarily executed.
Good News
That's only in North Korea. In South Korea they will read out the entire text.
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