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If you're **** and you know it **** your ****
help
This is a musical round, with **** **** at the piano. Let's hear your songs, but carefully **** so as to avoid upsetting the ****, **** and **** who might be listening.
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To **** or not to ****: that is the question.
If ***** be the food of love, **** on,
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting.
The appetite may ***** and so die.
Is this a ****** I see before me?
The ****** toward my hand?
****, let me ****** thee.
I **** thee not, but yet I *** thee still.
**** the world
Let them know it's Christmas time
**** the world
Do they know it's Christmas time **** all?
The quality of **** is not strain'd,
It ****eth as the gentle **** from heaven
Upon the **** beneath: it is twice ****;
It blesseth him that ****s and him that ****s
Like a poor b*ggar ****th on the rich.
Well, whiles I am a ****, I will ****
And say there is to sin but to be ****;
And being ****, my **** then shall be
To say there is no **** but b*ggery.
I can get no remedy against this ****tion of the ****:
****ing only lingers and lingers it out,
but the **** is incurable.
**** comforteth like **** after ****.
Little Jack **** sat in the ****, eating his Christmas *****
He put in a **** and pulled out a ***** and said "What a good **** am I!".
On the **** to Mandalay, where the ****ing fishes ****
and the **** comes up like **** out of **** 'cross the ****.
Blow ****, and **** your cheeks! ****! blow!
You ****s and ****s, spout
Till you have drench'd our ****, ****'d the cocks!
You sulphurous and ****-executing ****s,
****-couriers to ****-cleaving thunderbolts,
**** my white ****! And thou, ****-shaking ****,
**** flat the thick rotundity o' the ****!
Crack nature's ****, and **** spill at ****,
That **** **** man!
Thinkin' bout the time you ***** in my car,
Thinkin' that I might have ***** you too far,
Then I'm thinkin' about the **** that you laid on my table....
I told you not to ****** around in the dark,
I told you 'bout the ***** that **** in the park,
Then I told you 'bout our *** now he's ********** Mabel....

Yes I told that the ****** go up-and-down,
Don't you notice how the ****** go round.
And you better pick your **** up off the ground,
Before they ***** the ******* down.
Yes before they ***** the ******* down.

****ing 'bout a girl that ***** quite like you.
She didn't have the **** to **** in the queue.
She ***** away her **** since she fell off the ******.
Rumble thy ****! Spit, ****! Spout, ****!
Nor ****, wind, ****, f*** **** my daughters:
I **** not you, you ****, with unkindness;
I never gave you ****, call'd you ****,
You owe me no ****: then let f***
Your **** pleasure: here I **** your ****,
A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old ****:
But yet I call you **** ****,
That have with two **** daughters ****'d
Your high ****'d **** 'gainst a ****
So **** and **** as this. O! O! 'tis f***!
The King ****ed
The Queen, and
The Queen ****ed
The Dairymaid:
"Could we have some butter for
The Royal **** of ****?"
The Queen ****ed the Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and **** the cow
Now
Before she goes to ****."
[Breadmaster] Fab, and almost topical too...
I've got a lovely bunch of ****,
Here they are a-****ing in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your ****,
Give them a ****, a flick of the ****,
That's what the **** said...
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.

Oh please, *** to me
You’ll let me **** your man
And please, *** to me
You’ll let me **** your ****.
Now let me **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.
And when I **** you I feel **** inside.
It’s such a ****ing that my ****
I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide.
Yeah, you’ve got **** ****ing,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.

I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um,
With my extra ****, diddle-iddle-iddle-um -
Nuff said.
Oh, for a **** of **** that would ascend
The brightest ***** of ******.
A ***** for a ****, ***** to ****
And ***** to behold the swelling ****.
Milking the same cow...
They're ****ing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Alice is ****ing one of the guard.
"A soldier's **** is terrible hard,"
Says Alice.
BM] surely "Christopher Robin went down *** Alice" ?
My **** gone ****, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning **** up my **** and I can't **** at all
And even if I could it'd all be ****, but your **** on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad and

I want to **** you for giving me the best **** of my life
Oh just to **** with you is having the best **** of my life
Push the ****, I'm **** at last and I'm soaking through and through
Then you ****ed me a**** and all I **** is you

When you **** through a *****, hold your **** up high
And don't be afraid of the ****
At the end of the ****, there's a golden ****
And the sweet silver **** of the *****
**** on through the ****, **** on through the ****
Though your ***** be tossed and blown
**** on, **** on with **** in your ****
And you'll never **** alone, you'll never **** alone.
It's been a hard **** night
I've been ******** like a dog
Holding ***** at midnight,
'Neath a starry sky;
Nice work if you can get it -
And you can get it, if you ****.
[StD] Oh, I always felt that line had sufficient innuendo as it was. Maybe I'm just too unwholesome.
**** me baby, **** me all night long.
**** me baby, like my **** ain't got no bone.
Our little **** is four years old and quite a little ****
So we **** out the **** we don't want him to ****
Words like *-O-Y or maybe *-U-*-P-*-*-S-E
But the **** we're ****ing from him now
Tear the **** right out of me.

Our *-*-V-*-R-*-E becomes **** today
**** and little J-*-* will be ****in' away
I **** you both and it will be pure *-E double * for me
Oh, I wish that we could **** this D-*-*-O-*-*-E.


**** **** merrily on high,
In **** the bells are ****ing
**** **** verily the ****
Is riven with ****-****ing.

**************************************************************************************************************************a, Hosanna in *****!

**************************************************************************************************************************a, Hosanna in *****!

E'en so here below, below,
Let ****le **** be swungen. And *-o, *-o, *-o, By p*****s and ****e ****en.
**************************************************************************************************************************a, Hosanna in *****!

**************************************************************************************************************************a, Hosanna in *****!
Oh I love to love
But my baby just loves to ****, he wants to ****, he loves to ****, he's got to ****
Oh I love to love,
But there's no time for a romance, no no no-OH!
Oh I love to love, but my baby just loves to ****

The minute
The **** begins to **** it
He's on his feet to shake it
And **** the night away

Stop!
I'm ****ing like a top
We **** until we drop
But if I have my way...

I gotta **** a little ****
A little **** to **** things over
I better **** between the ****
In case I **** it when I'm older

Now this **** I must ****
Feels like a **** upon my shoulders
Through the **** I see **** shine
It keeps me **** as **** grows colder

In my **** there's been ****-ache and pain
I don't know if I can **** it again
Can't **** now, I've ****ed so far
To **** this lonely ****

I wanna know what **** is
I want you to **** me
I wanna feel what **** is
I know you can **** me
[Following Breadmaster's lead a while ago..]
This is the **** all **** and ****
That **** the man all **** and ****
That **** the maiden all ****
That **** the **** with the crumpled ****
That tossed the dog
That **** the cat
That **** the rat
That **** the malt
That **** in the house that **** built.
I know an old lady who ****ed a cow. Don't ask me how, but she ****ed a cow!
She ****ed the cow to **** the goat,
she ****ed the goat to **** the dog,
she ****ed the dog to **** the cat,
she ****ed the cat to **** the bird,
she ****ed the bird to **** the spider
that ****ed and ****ed and ****ed inside her.
She ****ed the spider to **** the fly.
I don't know why she ****ed the fly.
Perhaps she'll ****.
Underneath the ****ing ****nut tree,
I ****ed her, and she ****ed me.
There she used to **** upon my ****,
Neath the ****ing ****nut tree.

Underneath the ****ing ****nut tree,
There she said she'd **** me.
Now, you ought to **** our family
Neath the ****ing ****nut tree!
Daisy, Daisy, give me your ****, do.
I'm half crazy all for the **** of you.
It won't be a stylish ****.
I can't afford **** ****.
But you'd look sweet upon the ****
Of a **** ***** **** two.
My **** lies over the ****
My **** lies over the ****
My **** lies over the ****
Oh **** **** my **** to me, to me!
**** ****, **** ****, oh **** **** my **** to me!
**** Roasting on an open fire
**** **** nipping at your ****
**** **** being **** by a choir
And folk **** **** **** Eskimoes
Everybody knows, a **** and some ****, help to **** the **** bright
**** **** with their eyes all aglow, will find it **** to **** tonight
Summertime, and the *****ing is *****,
Fish are ********,
And the *******is high,
Your daddy's *******, and your Momma's ****** ******ing
So ****** little *******, don't you *****

One of these fine mornings, I'm gonna wake up ********,
I'm gonna ******** my *******, and ****** *** *** ******
Until that fine morning, **********'s gonna ******* me
With Mommy and Daddy ********** ***.

When I **** up, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the **** who ****s up next to you
When I **** out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the **** who ****s along with you
If I get ****, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the **** who gets **** next to you
And if I ****, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the **** who's ****ing to you.

But I would **** 500 ****s
And I would **** 500 more
Just to be the **** who ****ed a 1000 ****
To **** down at your ****.

I wanna ****, I want to ****
I wanna tear down the ****s
That **** me inside.
I wanna reach out
And touch the ****
Where the ****s have no ****.

I wanna feel **** on my ****.
I see the ****-**** disappear
Without a ****.
I wanna **** ****
From the poison ****
Where the ****s have no ****
Don't you **** her madly, don't **** her badly,
Don't you **** her ways, tell me what you ***.
Don't you **** her madly, wanna **** her daddy,
Don't you **** her ways.
Don't you **** her as she's walking out the door.
Like she did one thousand ***** before.
Don't you **** her ways, tell me what you ***.
Don't you **** her as she's walking out the door.

I **** her, yeah, yeah,
I **** her, yeah, yeah,
I **** her, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Shapes of ****** before my eyes
Just teach me to ******
Will **** make man more wise?

Here within my own *******
My **** just hurt my *****
But will it seem the same?

Come tomorrow will I be *****?
Come tomorrow maybe a soldier?
Come tomorrow may I be bolder than today

Just wanna ***** the night away,
With senoritas who can ****

Hey you! Do you **** me?
I used to **** next to you at school!
Oh, The Darkness... I think I'm hooked.

**** on **** and **** on ****;
**** on **** and **** **** ****;
**** **** **** tied up with string;
These are a few of my favourite things.
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I ***ing here?
God **** our **** Queen,
God **** our glorious ****
God **** the Queen.

Oh, my **** is like a red, red ****
That's newly **** in June
Oh, my **** is like a ****
That's sweetly **** in ****
As **** art thou, my bonnie ****,
So deep in **** am I
And I will **** thee still, my dear,
Till all the **** gang ****.
I've been searching for ****
On the streets, in the faces passing by.
I've been searching for ****,
But it's right there in your eyes.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
12 Drummers ****ming,
Eleven Pipers ***ing,
Ten Lords a ****ing,
Nine Ladies ****ing,
Eight Maids a ****ing,
Seven Swans a ****ming,
Six ***** a Laying,
Five **** Rings!
Four ****ing Birds,
Three French ****,
Two ****le Doves
and a **** **** in a **** ****.
Nymphs and shepherds
**** away, **** away.
Nymphs and shepherds
**** away, **** away
****, ****, ****, **** away!

Once a **** swagman ****ed by a billabong
Under the **** of a **** ****
And he **** as he **** and waited 'til his **** boiled
You'll come a ****ing matilda with me

****ing Matilda, ****ing Matilda
You'll come a ****ing Matilda with me
And he **** as he **** and waited 'til his **** boiled
You'll come a ****ing Matilda with me


Some people like to ****
Some people like to ****
Some people like to **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Let's have a **** ........forgotten the rest of it :-(
I like to ****, ****, ****, apples and bananas,
I like to ****, ****, ****, apples and bananas... (The song continues, with each alphabetical variation getting progressively lewder and therefore unsuitable for the pure minds on this forum.)
You better **** out
you better not ****
you better not ****
I'm telling you why
**** **** is ****ing to ****
He's making a ****
And ****ing it twice
Gonna **** out who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is ****ing to ****

He knows when you are ****ing
He knows when you're a ****
He knows if you've been **** or ****
So be **** for goodness sake

[Repeat ****]

**** ****, black sheep,
Have you any ****?
Yes, ****, yes, ****,
Three bags full.
**** for the ****er, and **** for the dame,
And **** for the little **** who ****s down the ****.

Bring me my **** of burning ****!
Bring me my **** of desire!
Bring me my ****, oh **** unfold!
Bring me my **** of fire!

I will not cease from **** ****,
Nor shall my **** rest in my hand,
Till we have **** ****,
In ****'s **** and **** ****.
I could have ****ed all night
I could have ****ed all night
And still have begged for more
I could have **** my ****
And **** a thousand things
I'd never **** before
I'll never know what made it so exciting
When all at once my **** took flight
I only know when he began to **** with me
I could have ****ed, ****ed, ****ed..all night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
She ***** you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
She ***** you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
It's time to play the *****,
It's time to ***** the *****,
It's time to raise the ******* on the ****** Show tonight.

It's time to put on ******,
It's time to ***** up right,
It's time to **** the Muppets on the ****** Show tonight.

Why do we always come ****?
I guess we'll never ****.
It's like a kind of torture,
To have to ***** the ****.

*trumpet solo*

And now let's get ****** started.
(crowd)Why don't you get ****** started!
It's time to get ****** started,
On the most *****tional, in********nal, cele*******, Muppet*****al,
This is what we **** the **** Show!

*BLAAAAT!*
There is a ***** in New Orleans, they call the Rising ***.
And it's been the **** of every young boy, and God knows I'm ***.

My mother was a ******, she ***** my new blue jeans,
My father was a ******* man, down in New Orleans.

Now the only thing a ******* needs, is a ****case and a **unk.
And the only **** he's satisfied, is when he's all **unk.

Oh Momma, **** your children. Not to do what I have ****;

***** your life in ******* ******. In the House of the Rising ***.
Well, since my baby **** me,
I've found a new ***** to *****.
It's down the end of ****** ******
At ********** Hotel.

You make me so ****** baby,
I get so ******,
I get so ******, I could ***.


Last night I said these words to my girl:
"You know you never even try, girl"
Come on [come on], Come on [come on],
Come ON [come on], COME ON! [come on!]
Please **** me, o yeah,
Like I **** you.

Should auld acquaintance be ****,
And never brought to ****?
Should auld acquaintance be ****,
And auld lang syne?
CHORUS: For auld lang syne, my ****,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of **** yet,
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye'll be your ****,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o **** yet,
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae **** about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans ****,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.
We twa hae **** in the burn
Frae morning sun till ****,
But seas between us **** hae ****
And there's a hand my trusty ****,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie ****,
For auld lang sy
They're ****ing up the prisoners, and ****ing them in a pen,
  And all she wants to do is *****, *****.
Rebels been ****** since I don't know when,
  And all she wants to do is *****!
******* Cocktail is the local *****,
  And all she wants to do is *****, *****.
They *** them up right, in the kitchen sink,
  And all she wants to do is *****.

Crazy people ****ing 'round with ***** in their eyes,
  And all she wants to do is *****, *****, *****.
Wild-eyed ****** wavers who ain't afraid to ***,
  And all she wants to do is,
    All she wants to do is *****.

And make *******.
Can't feel the ****.
  ***ing off the street.
She wants to *****,
  She wants to **** down,
And all she wants to do is,
  All she wants to do is *****.
How about getting off of these **** How about stopping ****ing when I'm full up How about them transparent dangling ****s How about that ever elusive **** **** you India **** you terror **** you disillusionment **** you frailty **** you consequence **** you **** you silence
dammit no < br>s but you get the idea...
We hold these *****s to be self-evident, that all men are created *****, that they are endowed by their ******* with certain *********** *****s, that among these are ****, ******* and the pursuit of *********. --That to secure these rights, **********s are ********** among Men, deriving their just *****s from the consent of the ********, --That whenever any Form of ********** becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to ***** or to ******* it, and to institute new **********, laying its ********** on such principles and organizing its ****** in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. ********, indeed, will dictate that **********s long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to ******, while evils are ******able, than to ***** themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object *****es a design to ****** them under absolute ******ism, it is their right, it is their duty, to ***** off such *********, and to provide new *****s for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these *****ies; and such is now the necessity which *********s them to alter their former Systems of **********. The history of the present **** of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute ******* over these States. To prove this, let ****s be *******ed to a candid *****.
Remember when you were young, you ***** like the sun.
Shine on you crazy *******.
Now there’s a **** in your eyes, like black ****s in the sky.
Shine on you crazy *******.
You were ****** on the crossfire of ********* and *******, blown on the ***** ******.
Come on you ****** for faraway ********, come on you ********, you ******, You ******, and shine!
One **** to rule them all.
One **** to find them.
One **** to bring them all,
And in the ********, **** them.
How do you ***** a ******* like Maria?
****** Night,
**** Night.
All is ****,
All is ******,
***** yon virgin, ****** and *****.
Holy ****** so ***** and ****.
***** in Heavenly *****. ***** in Heavenly *****.
In the deserts of Sudan, and the gardens of Japan
From Milan to Yucatan, every woman, every man

**** me with your **** ****, **** me, **** me
Je *****, Ich **** dich, **** me, **** me, **** me
**** me with your **** ****, **** me slowly, **** me quick,
**** me,
**** me,
**** me!

I heard he *** a good ***
I heard he had a style
And so I came to *** him,
To *** for a while
And there he was, this *** boy,
A *** to my eyes

***ing my *** with his fingers
***ing my *** with his ***
***ing me softly with his ***
Oh well I'm the type of guy who will never ****** down
Where pretty girls *** well, you know that I'm a*****
I **** 'em and I ****'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I *** 'em and I ******* 'em they don't even know my name
They call me the ******er yeah the ******er
I **** around around around...

Oh well there's Flo on my **** and there's Mary on my *****
And Janie is the girl with that I'll ******* tonight
And when she asks me which one I **** the best
I **** open my ***** I got Rosie on my *****
'Cause I'm the ******er yeah the ******er
I **** around around around....
Sharpens ******.
Do you know the way to *** ****?
No, but I do have an inkling of the route to Mornington Crescent, which is where I think the Grim Reaper was thinking of despatching us :o)
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope*
thank goodness for that, I thought this traffic jam was never-ending.
Well ****ed everyone, though.
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord