That Dennis the Menace had already thought of that scam. Ah, well! Returning for a moment to Mr Llewelyn, the local bookie. I sems like only yesterday that I found that £50 note outside the Labour Exchange and nipped in to the betting shop and placed £25 each way on Foinavon in the Grand National. How we celebrated that night (all except Mr Llewelyn, that is), down at the Aligator and Ferret. Why, that was when I first discovered that....

...I was the long lost heir to the Russian throne. I knocked back the vodka after that, I can tell you! I decided then and there, that I must...

... conduct myself in a manner befitting my regal status; unfortunately, shortly after making everyone in the pub kneel before me, I passed out. The next morning ...

...it was all over the tabloids that I had the makings of a fine Russian leader in me. Unfortunately, it was also all over the broadsheets that some Bolshevik Fundamentalists wished to claim my life in the name of eternal communism, so then and there I had to...

...take up dancing. I'd had ballet lessons as a youngster so I thought, the Bolshevik's could use a good dancer in the Bolshoi. Heck, even the names are similar. So I wrote away for a tutu. Imagine my surprise when the postman arrived one day, accompanied by...