a magazine article about cooking the Vegan way, which was...

...written by a meat eater with a twisted sense of humour. The recipe for Tofu with chick peas and black bean sauce, for example, included lamb's eyes, pig's trotters and...

...moss, which, although when I tried the recipe out myself starting singeing during the third day of cooking, still...

...refused to ignite properly. That was when I knew there was something fishy about the recipe (besides the shark steak and cans of tuna) as I never previously had a problem with incendiary cooking, whether purposely or no. I earned the Pulitzer Prize for my letter of complaint to that magazine, which of course...

.... was read by many respected, and well to do people at that time. But things have changed now and I find myself wondering, if only...

I had bought a copy of the Dandy, then I would have known...

That Dennis the Menace had already thought of that scam. Ah, well! Returning for a moment to Mr Llewelyn, the local bookie. I sems like only yesterday that I found that £50 note outside the Labour Exchange and nipped in to the betting shop and placed £25 each way on Foinavon in the Grand National. How we celebrated that night (all except Mr Llewelyn, that is), down at the Aligator and Ferret. Why, that was when I first discovered that....

...I was the long lost heir to the Russian throne. I knocked back the vodka after that, I can tell you! I decided then and there, that I must...

... conduct myself in a manner befitting my regal status; unfortunately, shortly after making everyone in the pub kneel before me, I passed out. The next morning ...