..Miss Farquar-Harrington, the geography teacher, she always used to lean over our shoulders to explain something but we could never hear a thing as her ample bosom used to muffle our ears. She also used to have terrible BO which she tried to disguise with cheap perfume from Woolworth which used to smell of aniseed. I think it was called...

...Shmoo or somthing like that! The other thing about Miss Farquar-Harrington that springs to mind was her amazing quiff of black greasy hair. It was thought that she got the idea for it from....

a magazine article about cooking the Vegan way, which was...

...written by a meat eater with a twisted sense of humour. The recipe for Tofu with chick peas and black bean sauce, for example, included lamb's eyes, pig's trotters and...

...moss, which, although when I tried the recipe out myself starting singeing during the third day of cooking, still...