...say that I too have reversed the polarity of the neutron flow. Well, wasting no time, I leapt into the TARDIS and...

... landed on K9, who promptly began chewing my fingers off. Having at last found his 'off' switch, I turned around to find that the robot dog seemed to have mated with a Cyberman (or possibly Cyberwoman) to produce...

...Anne Robinson. Screaming in terror, I took us back to the Triassic period and fed her to a passing dinosaur. While I was there I saw...

a talking onion called Dave, who I'd met once before during an.....

...extended stay in the University of North Wales Medical School's asylum wing. Recognising it now as the insidious guise of a renegade Time Lord, I immediately...