...tickling its testicles with the turnups of my trousers a favour that it returned with interest forcing me kick the rather nasty Pekinese out of the door I had entered through and slam it smartly behind me, turning round I noticed....
...that I was back in my prison cell. What kind of mad, twisted world was this? I turned at once and headed back down the tunnel I had dug earlier, before the guards woke up and saw me in my panicked state. This time I took the mobile phone accessory with me, and began to dig a different path halfway down my original tunnel, finally scraping away the last pieces of earth between me and freedom, to discover that...
ordered the turkey. Well, it's a stroppy bastard and frightens the cat so I hit it with a club hammer, which sorted it, but it was that kind of thing that got me put away in the first place, so maybe my newly-acquired freedom is not . . .