...Count Dracula, who immediately launched a lawsuit against him for stealing his idea. I never heard of the outcome; I supposed that they had settled out of court, but this was all inconsequential as I....
..Sadam Hussein on his way back to his bolt hole. "Hello," he said, "I am the president of Iraq, I am prepared to negotiate." I thought he looked a very nice man, although his beard was full of faeces and his breath smelt like a camel's. I stood on his shoulders and just able to reach a...
..ladder to the surface, I realised there were a cluster of American gentlemen above me, brandishing weapons. Realising that publicly humiliating the American military, though not difficult, would earn me instant worldwide fame, I naturally told them I was Saddam, to which they...
...replied "we gotcha now' and hauled me up and into custody. They strapped a false beard on me and took ever so many photos, then flung me into a cell. It wasn't long before the door opened to reveal that nice Mr Bush holding several coats of mink, ermine and stoat fur. He forced me to wear them all in turn muttering something about a fur trial, then...