...you know what I mean. Unfortunately, in the process of dialling the number to help me, the telephone engineer bought false identification and fled the country. My next plan...

...also failed, which is why I am currently writing this epistle from inside Strangeways, where at this time of year there is thankfully plenty of...

...writing paper. However, supplies of walnut and grasshopper chutney are drying up, especially since...

...I had no ink, and uncertain times call for desperate measures. As a fugitive from the law, I...

live in the south of Spain among like-minded individuals. There, the sun shines constantly, making . . . .