...be full aware of the consequences and hazards when operating agriculural equipment au naturale. However, when looking for a pen, I...

s..s...stuttered, realising that the farmer had divested ladies knickers, a kind of Freudian slip I supposed. Remembering I'd brought my 80-litre capacity handbag with me, I...

...drank a few litres of the gin I keep in it for Dutch courage. I also dressed myself with the spare set of clothes I carry in my...

...fake breast implant. Things have been so much easier since the operation and...

... the little demons find them really comfortable. Realising I stole that part of the plot from an episode of 'Strange', I decided to get on with and legged it across the plantation, pursued by...