I was near a slave labour camp where all the inmates were kept naked. Naturally, not wanting to appear out of the ordinary...

...the farmer also removed his clothes. I personally found all this quite disgusting and resolved to write a letter about it to...

the agricultural department. I mean, after all, the person who processes you corn should...

...be full aware of the consequences and hazards when operating agriculural equipment au naturale. However, when looking for a pen, I...

s..s...stuttered, realising that the farmer had divested ladies knickers, a kind of Freudian slip I supposed. Remembering I'd brought my 80-litre capacity handbag with me, I...

...drank a few litres of the gin I keep in it for Dutch courage. I also dressed myself with the spare set of clothes I carry in my...

...fake breast implant. Things have been so much easier since the operation and...

... the little demons find them really comfortable. Realising I stole that part of the plot from an episode of 'Strange', I decided to get on with and legged it across the plantation, pursued by...

...three alarmingly large men and an enormous buffalo. Suddenly I skidded to a sudden stop, incredibly handy as I had just reached the edge of a cliff. There was nothing I could do but...

jump, to what I thought would be my untimely death! As luck would have it 3 elfin like creatures had placed a large...

..time machine at the top of the ravine and as I jumped I found myself spinning dizzily through time only to emerge at a point where...

...the cliff was still submerged in the ocean. Unfortunately, I cannot swim, so I immediately tried to grab onto the nearest...

diplodocus, who wasn't having any of that! I thought I was surely doomed, and my life started to flash before my eyes. It made me wonder at the amount of Walnut and Grasshopper chutney in...

...existence throughout history, and whether if you drew a graph of it there would be some sort of trend I could exploit and make money from. Anyway, meanwhile the diplodocus...

...having now forgotten my existence, proceeded to emerge onto dry land. Disembarking, I found myself on a wild, verdant beach and so with nothing better to do, I set off hoping to find something useful to engineer my return. It was not long after that I stumbled across a laboratory rat of some kind; tied to its back was...

a message rolled up in a test tube! Even stranger, it was to me! It said "Dear Mrs Trellis..

... CONGRATUALTIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON SIXTY MILLION BILLION QUID!!!!!! To claim your prize phone 0898 69 69 69, Calls charged at £9.99 per second and last for at least ten hours.. Well I wasn't silly enough to fall for that ploy so instead I......

realised that the rat was clearly from the future so I ran after it quickly. Everything started to look odd..the sun seemed to move faster and it rapidly became cold and dark. Moonrise occurred even more swiftly and day followed on again, until all around me was a blur. I felt so dizzy that I fell and...

...crashed out of the temporal slipstream tunnel (for that is what my good friend Prof Hawking later said that it was) and hit my head against something stone. When I came to, I found that I was now in...