The asylum seekers demanded that tea...

...should be served with walnut and grasshopper chutney. Well, seeing as they'd used the last of our supplies to stick themselves to our car, we had no recourse but to...

...dash right into the rainforest and hide in an ancient Mayan temple until they'd all gone away. Little did we know (da-da-da-dumm!) that the temple was...

actually in Doncaster so i was't a rainforest at all but...

...an elaborate set built by a 'reality' TV production company that they were using to stage a programme, mostly about...