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Electric sock treatment
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C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
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And no doubt that sore will haunt them for years to come
They're a funny lot down in Kent. But not to worry; it's one of the traits of Dover.
Whilst it may not compete with your 'funny lot' have you ever been down to check the ties along the Severn?
People are quite proud of our dull rainy weather because it is often accompanied by status cloud.
Read any good books lately? I'm just finishing William Golding's biography of Jeffrey Archer, "Lord of the Lies".
No, but I have noticed Bill Clinton's new book "My Lie". I also remember that the Israeli PM, Golda Meyer wrote a book under the same title which I always thought quite ironic.
I thought I'd tell you how laborious arithmetic used to be but nobody wants to read a logarithm tale. (Softers) Nice one(s).
I am blessed with three given names. Given that my father was a surveyor and lay-preacher he was obviously well versed in trionometry. (For those not up on their latin - trionometry - three names without measure.)
People are less foul-mouthed in the hot weather because they wear less. It's f****** hot today, though.
Standing on a crowded train, its the seat that makes you really uncomfortable.
French broadcasting is vey poor - the only have Radio Fou.
I meant to leave out one letter, not three. Hope it's clear which one.
Years ago I used to like to listen to the irate radio stations.
On Tuesday our local supermarket was affected by a large food.
A soldier in military hospital was discharged from the war the other day.
[Plump] Visiting my local supermarket today, I was taken aback by the number of ears, rapes and Orangs on display.
While I in the supermarket, I bought some sliced bee to put in my sandwiches.
Can't understand why I'm so pissed - I only had two pins.
My doctor, who is a keen D.I.Y. type, tells me that there is now a simple step-by-step procedure for those with ladder problems.
An unnerving ladder problem is getting half way up and discovering that there is a rug missing.
New legislation coming in 2006 will make it illegal to sell non-prescription rugs in the UK.
Flix] I bet there will still be lots of cack everywhere though.
There will be lots of ushers on the streets.
Yes, but there's a dozen uses for every usher.
Aiden Ridgeway is a Senator in the Australian parliament's upper house. Where I come from aidens used to be hung from the ceiling - usually in the scullery.
The most senior politician in the UK is always very formal and demure, and is therefore known as the Prim Minister.
The Prime Minister, whether having artistic appreciation or not, cannot be Head of Tate.
The Australian opposition leader in the parliament did, by his own admission, attack a taxi driver over some dispute or other and broke his arm. Labor party faithfuls have embraced the man - they love hugs.
I see a big hand and a little hand, the result of cock watching I guess..
This game's going downhill - I'm off to have a pee at the telly.
I am advised that watching so called 'reality' shows on television is not good for those living in drought stricken areas. Apparently it's not good for the rain.
There are plenty of electricians in Stratford-on-AVO.
Did anyone see the pictures of the terrible food in Cornwall this morning ?
Yes, after such a fright I thought everyone there looked a little pasty.
Meanwhile at the Olympics, the host nation is rocked by the scandal involving two of their top printers.
If the Olympics were in Finland they could have sailing and call it the 1500 meres.
The Finns are a very friendly people, which is why they are so good at allying.
One of the Baltic States has such great admiration for our public schools that they have named their country after one - Etonia.
The americans seem to have the most effective simmer.
As a competitive nation, we seem to be pretty good at ailing.
Booze is good for you. That's why doctors often prescribe Pils.
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