Hmm, makes you sound like a Peeing Tom to me.

Presumably a peeing tom is somebody who likes to have a loo.

I thought they liked watching women getting hanged.

I used to like watching the Women's cricket team getting ready for a bat.

I got picked for the Royal Household XI because I was good at bowing.

I was dropped by the Anorexics XI just because I was a fat bowler.

I used to drive their team tour bus, but then they went on trike after bad light stopped pay.

I remember - you were a very low diver and you kept locking the rod so I couldn't ass you.

I used to wince at they way you changed ears.

I got stuck on a 'bus one day. One of the tyres had deflated. Fortunately the vehicle was equipped with a radio and the driver, obviously being unable to mount the spare himself, yelled back to his base "Ring the changes, I'm in trouble". Talk about efficiency! Within minutes every church in the neighbourhood had activated its bells.