Oooh look, here's Audrey, and she's going to give us a talk about the research she has been doing with the help of the SUN newspaper, plotting the locations of all paedophiles in the surrounding area, and asking them all questions. Lets have a look at Audrey's Nonce Survey Map (****Coat please!****)

Please welcome the Clines in the form of Cindy ('Cin')and her aunty.

this poor neglected game. No guests to speak of at his party. poor wee soul.

I know. but I'm rubbish at puns.

Will you please welcome Mr & Mrs Tarktick and their daughter Anne

Will you also welcome from warmer climes Mr & Mrs Reef and their daughter Coral

It's Mr and Mrs Astrench, and their deep daughter, Marianne

This game is screaming in agony. I am sorry, but these geographers have just got to go. I blame it all on the Pines and their son Al Pine. Now please be upstanding for the nect round of guests , ably fronted by the De Leer family from Ireland, as their son Sean de Leer welcomes all and sundry to the "Household Items ball".

This looks more promising - the first arrivals, straight off the chara' - Ira Ningboard, Dai Ningchair, Lew Brush, Kit Chentowel and, of course Ma Tatomasher and her husband Pa . . . ..

And Ira, a rag-and-bone man, has brought along his horse, the Dray Ningboard

Please welcome that collector of old newspapers and tins it's Mr & Mrs Ikelingbox and their son Reece