right.
Oh look ! Its the Ceptions with their hairy daughter Connie. She's going to depilate herself for charity tonight, christ knows she needs it. What's that dear ? No no, not now, we'll wait till everyones here. Don't worry we won't forget, we'll Immac you later Connie Ception.

That plonker Richard Sark is trying to get up on stage again and make a dipstick of himself. I don't know about you but I'm getting very tired of his exhibitionism, so I say No R Sark, leave us alone!

A consignment of grammar specialists have snuck in! Of course, they would sneak, weedle, steal or even creep. They're very pro verbs. But they still shouldn't be at our party! Nor indeed should the welsh farmer Mr Entations' pet lamb. It's spilling the punch bowls all over the guests! Dan'll get rid of them for us, and he'll hose ya down afterwards. And I see that the lovely Mrs. Ling's traditional dress has been spoilt by the punch - the colour's all run out of the sash. Good job there's an obi dyer in the room!

A big hand please for the Yah family and their daughter Lou. Hallo, Lou Yah! Come and meet our VIP guest, the Fourth Earl Ordgod of Nipotentreigneth. He's a bit of a bore, he's been talking with Andy Shallreign for ever and ever.

A mystery woman has just arrived with the Inexcels family. Her sister Anna is introducing her as a long-lost sibling, prompting the assembled company to cry Who's Anna Inexcel's sis?

OK, let's review the situation. Who's 'ere? A bunch of apocryphal characters, by the looks of things. First the Dom family with their son Wes, the tedious knight Sir Ache and his pub-dwelling crow the bar rook, and what seems to be the entire McAbee clan - one, two, three, four of them. And Jeremy - ah. He's just sent a letter. It seems he can't come because he had his toe bit by that damn rook.

This is actually true - the senior partner of US law firm Altheimer & Gray used to be called Simon Odom. No joke. Another good one (but not biblical) is the Managing Partner of Dechert in Paris Mr Joseph Smallhoover. You really couldn't make it up.