lol

I've heard that Genesis are providing the music!

It's cabaret time. We have a top grade act for you tonight, the best of the best. A thespian group called the Postles. Yes it's the Acts of the 'A' Postles!

On a lighter note we have Mr & Mrs Ediction and their son Ben Ediction

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Gi and their daughter May.

Please welcome Mr & Mrs Myer and their son Jerry

Just over there helping the Fallen Virgin, Sam Ariton doing a good turn.

Oh look, sticking loosely on the theme, here are Mr and Mrs Saintsgomarchingin, and their crazy daughter, Wendy Saintsgomarchingin

And here are Mr & Mrs Iversofbabylon and their son Thor. No, he's just leaving -- bye, Thor Iversofbabylon!

Please be upstaning for the Lee-Ghosts, and their eldest son Theo Lee-Ghost

and of course from Lancashire the Eccles Lee-Asteys

The youngest member of the Iggle family is dawdling at the back of the queue. Will someone just prod Iggles' son?

Keeping the attendance record is our faithful servant, Teronomy. Can you tell us when the next guests are due, Teronomy?

Introducing Mr & Mrs See and their daughterFara.

Oh god here come the Vations, with their righteous daughter Sal Vation

And here come the American representatives of the Federation of Evangenical Zoroastrians and Nestorians: the F.E.Z.N.s

[Raak] Are Evangenicals the the product of Monsanto's Welsh research programme?
I'd just like to announce the result of the annual sovereigns versus judiciary football match: Kings 2, Judges 1.

CRIPES, here is the Whore of Babylon, which would suggest that the Dale Ovjudgement is here, and we must change balls, as it were.....

Here comes Tessa Lonians, who says there's a bunch of gay bishops trying to gatecash the party! But I think it's just a cruiser fiction.

Arriving with some bottles of their home-brewed beer, please welcome the house mates, Corinne Thians, Phillip Ians and Col O'Sians ... not forgetting Phil Emon. He brews.

From Spain, there's Senor Godthefatheralmighty, and his son who's in extreme pain. But he's taking painkillers, so there's Ibuleve in Juan Godthefatheralmighty.

[MF sublime!] At last - the methodists have arrived, but it looks as though one of them is missing. Where's Leanne Methodist?

right.
Oh look ! Its the Ceptions with their hairy daughter Connie. She's going to depilate herself for charity tonight, christ knows she needs it. What's that dear ? No no, not now, we'll wait till everyones here. Don't worry we won't forget, we'll Immac you later Connie Ception.

That plonker Richard Sark is trying to get up on stage again and make a dipstick of himself. I don't know about you but I'm getting very tired of his exhibitionism, so I say No R Sark, leave us alone!

A consignment of grammar specialists have snuck in! Of course, they would sneak, weedle, steal or even creep. They're very pro verbs. But they still shouldn't be at our party! Nor indeed should the welsh farmer Mr Entations' pet lamb. It's spilling the punch bowls all over the guests! Dan'll get rid of them for us, and he'll hose ya down afterwards. And I see that the lovely Mrs. Ling's traditional dress has been spoilt by the punch - the colour's all run out of the sash. Good job there's an obi dyer in the room!

A big hand please for the Yah family and their daughter Lou. Hallo, Lou Yah! Come and meet our VIP guest, the Fourth Earl Ordgod of Nipotentreigneth. He's a bit of a bore, he's been talking with Andy Shallreign for ever and ever.

A mystery woman has just arrived with the Inexcels family. Her sister Anna is introducing her as a long-lost sibling, prompting the assembled company to cry Who's Anna Inexcel's sis?

OK, let's review the situation. Who's 'ere? A bunch of apocryphal characters, by the looks of things. First the Dom family with their son Wes, the tedious knight Sir Ache and his pub-dwelling crow the bar rook, and what seems to be the entire McAbee clan - one, two, three, four of them. And Jeremy - ah. He's just sent a letter. It seems he can't come because he had his toe bit by that damn rook.

This is actually true - the senior partner of US law firm Altheimer & Gray used to be called Simon Odom. No joke. Another good one (but not biblical) is the Managing Partner of Dechert in Paris Mr Joseph Smallhoover. You really couldn't make it up.

Also late are Mr and Mrs Tiles and their daughter Jen, and also my good friend Wayne Amanger. Also the eco friendly hippy Jude. He's a vegetarian you know, and brings his own food - look, Jude 'as 'is carrot

Let's thank our caterers for their wonderful nativity-themed buffet. A big hand for Pret a Manger please. Senses scrapings at barrel's bottom.

I'm off to the musicians' ball. Anyone care to join me?

I'll join you, and in doing so I would like to welcome Mr. & Mrs. Tovensfifth and their daughter Bee Tovensfifth. She's a symphony in peach and i'm sure we could make some very nice music together!