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Animal-Vegetable-Mineral-Abstract: The Pants Memorial Game
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The chairperson selects an object/idea/whatever and announces whether it's animal, vegetable, mineral, and/or abstract. The others have to ask questions to figure out what it is. Whomever guesses the object correctly is given the chair for the next round; repeat ad nauseam.
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Heaves huge sigh of relief.
[Kim] It is indeed. If you want to give it to Tuj then by all means do so.

* Audience awakens from a long snooze and breaks into huge applause shouting out Kim and Tuj's names and slapping Inkspot on the back before dashing for the toilets *

plaudits
Well done Kim & Tuj et al. Last night, on returning from 36 hours of 'celebrating', I was surprised to find that this one hadn't been 'nailed'. Good choice Boobar :-)
re: the next one - I think whoever is 'around' now and for the next few hours should take the chair.
We want Tuj!
Where is Tuj based? If he's out of commission for any reason, then I'll supply the next one, but I propose to wait until 5.00pm UK time, to give Tuj a chance to play. Any objections to this?
Waaaah! Combination of monitor failure at work (not to mention the slowest-responding IT helpdesk in Europe and a son distinctly under the weather at home have prevented me from posting since this lunchtime. Sorry, one and all for the hiatus. OK, I see that Tuj is otherwise occupied, so I will take the chair once more. OK, since collaborations seem to be all the rage (cf. Britney, featuring Madonna), lets say: Abstract, featuring Vegetable.
Is the vegetable a food item?
Is it a biological process, like transpiration?
Is it a musical group?
like Boyzone featuring Robbie Williams?
Is it a figurative vegetable?
E.g. the apple of one's eye, the tree of life, etc.
Is it an insult, like Turnip Head?
Ping!
[Riff] Yes.
[ZK] No.
[Dazed5] No.
[Raak] Yes.
[Software] No.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
The Great Pumpkin?
Is it the title of a book and/or film?
Is it chocolate?
[Chalky] Yes.
[Raak] You're a good man, Charlie Brown, but no.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Lib] No.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?
Some people classify tomatoes as a fruit.
Are Oranges the Only Fruit?
Is it a recent book/film .... say post - 1990?
Temparature's rising...
[Raak] Super, but no.
[Inkspot] No.
[Chalky] No.
The Grapes of Wrath?
James and the Giant Peach?
oops - too recent.
Peachy
[BtD] The book isn't.
Four Weddings and a Banana?
A clockwork orange?
Here we go round the Mulberry Bush?
only guessed this after discounting Last Mango in Paris
Boolbar wins again!
Another fine drop goal sails majestically between the uprights from the golden boot of Boolbar. The answer is, indeed, Steinbeck's searing indctment and merciless evocation of loss and displacement, The Grapes of Wrath.
Consolation prizes to Software and Dazed5 - there must be a new game in there somewhere (perhaps a replacement for the current Pants game, which, to my mind, had run its course some time ago).
The Chair passes to Boolbar.
* audience, having just got settled, tosses aside popcorn and malteser boxes, and erupts into noisy raucous cheering for Boolbar - who has proved himself master of the Abstract Vegetable genre*
Surprised
Oooh, better do a quickie then. Animal
Is it a ... erm .... 'quick' animal?
Is it a person? are they alive?
[Chalky] Depends what you compare with. Faster than a dead tortoise, slower than a tortoise traveling at the speed of light.
[Inkspot] Yes, and yes.
Is he a he?
I was hoping to do a line about "It it a quick animal, as opposed to a dead animal?" Never mind....
[Kim] He is a he.
Osama bin Laden?
[Raak] No.
Is this person an artist of some kind?
As opposed to a big-nosed, pointy-chinned, syrup-wearing, washed up light-entartainment has-been, like for instance Bruce Forsyth.
George Bush?
A politician?
American?
Aan]
Please tell me it isn't a rugby player.
An actor?
oops pressed return instead of shift
Is he a writer?
Is it J. Wilkinson, the flavour of the week?
Waking from a slumber, I spotted that I almost won something up there. Never mind. Thanks, Kim - I don't think I'm on here frequently enough to be the chair for this fast-paced game!
No to you all!
[Dazed5] No. Although aren't we all artists in some way?
[Software] No.
[Raak] No.
[Riff] No.
[Breadmaster] No.
[Inkspot] No.
[Kim] No, he doesn't write for a living.
[Tuj] No.
British?
Is it an active sportman or has he retired?
[Breadmaster] Oh yes.
[Inkspot] Oh no. Not a sportsman - not retired.
Is he a TV presenter?
Ian Huntley?
Morbid - I know, but I had to get off my chest.
[Chalky] No.
[Inkspot] No.
A musician?
Does he have a connection with ISIHAC?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] Ooooh, there is a vague connection. * audience look interested *
Is he a known homosexual?
Just trying to narrow it down, you understand.
Is he an actor?
Does he work for one of the major UK broadcasting organisations (albeit not in an acting, writing, musical, TV presenting or sporting capacity?
)?
[Breadmaster] No.
[Dazed5] No, he still isn't. (See answer to Inkspot above).
[Kim] No.
Is he funny?
Is he a chef?
[Lib] He doesn't make people laugh for a living (he's not an entertainer).
[Inkspot] No.
Is he known primarily for appearances on TV or radio?
Does he read the News?
Or would that be regarded as an entainer? hmmmmm....
swap:- entainer/entertainer
Ian Hislop?
Is he involved with production or direction?
Is he alive?
[Breadmaster] No.
[Lib] Not out loud, but he probably does read newspapers. :o)
[Inkspot] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Software] Yes.

Clue - that vague connection that I mentioned, is it staring you in the face?

Is he a normal guy who acheived some fame, or infamy?
Apologies for my repetition above. We can, therefore, conclude he is not an actor.
[Dazed5] Yes, he's a normal guy. No he's not had his 15 minutes of fame yet.
Is it YOU [+y]?
And if not, is it one of us?
Is it me?
Deep Breath
[Chalky] You are correcto!!!!!!
I was going to pick someone else, but if the questions got too personal then I know a lot about me.

* Audience applaudes Chalky's sudden insight and carries her aloft to the chair chanting her name *

*makes the sound of one hand clapping*
Wahay
Gosh - that was a surprise. Now for a *V E G E T A B L E*
Is it edible to humans?
Ruling out such things as dining room tables
Is 'a' vegetable a clue?
A carrot?
Well, a basic answer's not out of the question, surely?
Dazed - No, not really, although it wouldn't kill you if you did eat it.
Duj - It isn't a clue :-)
Beth - No [basic answer :-)]
Is it a *product* made from vegetable materials?
Can't think of an example, but still...
Is it something made of wood?
Is it something manufactured?
Does it float on water?
Is it made of paper?
sorry to keep you waiting ....
Beth - Yes
Riff - No
Raak - Yes
Boolbar - Yes
Bob - No
Is it something made by humans in order to travel on water?
Is it more usually manufactured by hand, rather than by automated process?
Does it have moving parts?
Is it an item of furniture? A table perhaps?
Boolbar - No
Kim - Both nowadays
Breadmaster - No
Hi Lib :-) - No
Is it woven?
Do you own one?
..... (or more)?
Is it wicker-work?
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