Very much not: Pipsanall is the world's strongest domestic cleaning fluid, available in raspberry, lemon, peach and avacado flavours. Well, I say flavours: I'm not sure anyone has ever tasted the fluid due to it having an extremely potent effect on all those who come within fifty yards of it. A typical reaction is severe dizziness, sometimes to the point of physical collapse. Meanwhile, the role of the product in the spread of genital herpes is currently being contested in the US courts. As a cleaning product, it's unparalleled and particularly useful in eradicating those embarrasing stains - beetroot, wine, blood - that are a giveaway that you might have had your mistress round while the wife's been at the hairdressers. Such a shame you can only use it in a fume cupboard and whilst dressed in a space suit.

Meanwhile can anyone tell me how to deploy the Sentinal Fanniwizz Plus I had delivered this morning?

You should have opened the package - the use would have been obvious. To those who have not come across one, the Sentinal Fanniwizz Plus is the brand name (don't you love some of the spelling that marketing people use?) which actually means 'Sentinel Fanny Whizz Plus'. Thus; what you have is a sporran, modified and enlarged for use by sentries in Edinburgh, which is worn under the kilt and attached to the belt front and back.

The other day I came across an object in a pawn shop catalogue which was described as a Canna Business Kit, unfortunately there was no image or description - perhaps a horticultural item? Can anyone assist?

Unless 'pushing up the Daisies' can be considered horticultural I'm afraid this most interesting piece of recent european history comes from a much different field. Italian, it originates from the southern town of Canna in the Calabria region. During the early eighties there was an EEC inititive to promote regional variety and busiess accumen. The French successfully gained 'branding' of the wine regions, and Britain 'branded' chip butties.
It was a local godfather Don Misterloni who championed the Canna Business Kit and had several crafted. The contents would vary between the business oppportunity and the secret kept within the family. During negotiatons with Brussels the beurocrats were left with the impression that he would make them an offer they could not refuse.

Unfortunately before the ruling Don Misterloni was killed by a contract killer, allegedly paid by the Sicilian godafther Don Gonnugetti. The Kit disappeared without trace, however it is strongly rumoured that the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi took along a Canna Business Kit during his meeting with German MEP Martin Schultz following the infamous Nazi concentration camp guard speech to the European Parliament.

On the staff intranet notice board there is an Ultra Low Door Spoon is it worth the £5 asking fee?

Aside from wondering if the Ultra Low Door Spoon has anything to do with getting the last remnants of Door Jam from the Door-A-Jar, I'm stumped. Is it worth the £5? Depends how much you like Door Jam, I guess.

I've seen mention of the Dough-Bat Combi in one of those Innovations-type catalogues, but I didn't have time to read the blurb before someone knocked on the cubicle door asking me to vacate the facilities. Can anyone tell me its USP?

This was the notorious equipment intended for door to door salesmen to home in on rich widows who could be sold anything at inflated prices. The public pressure led to its withdrawl from the legitimate market although the underworld have bought up the rights and sell their own E-Z PICKINS model.

I have been offered a Condorector 628I is it as good as they say and has the injury risk been overplayed?