Do you watch that BBC series Rogue Traders Dujon? If so, you'll know what I mean when I tell you your man should definitely be featured. The pantechnicon was a fifties item used supposedly to facilitate the installing of new pipes, it consisted of three large ball bearings hanging from a piece of string. Supposedly this would help level said pipes. This was of course complete rubbish as none of the pantechnicons produced were quite the right size. They're no longer produced today so your man is obviously after collecting one of these instruments as they are now quite highly sought after. Save your purse the grief and get rid of him.

I heard tell the other day of the Austrian Clutch, could someone enlighten me?

This is a board game inspired by Hitler's rise to power. The players play heads of state of various European countries, and see who can most effectively use bluff, threats, coups, betrayal, and sudden overwhelming invasions to take over the whole of Europe without actually declaring war.

Visual Eyeglasses for Windows sounds rather tautological -- what is it/are they?

Just to slightly amplify my last, the title suffered in translation, the original German being Anschlu&sslig;! (with the exclamation mark).

Ahem. That's Anschluß!

Visual Eyeglasses for Windows, or VE for short, is simply another programming tool from Microsoft forming part of its Visual Studio series. VE provides an integrated development environment for programming the next generation of mobile eyeglasses. As well as providing the usual focusing and sun-shading functions, these glasses will be able to access the Internet (albeit a subset called EAP), play Java games, and emit a user-definable piercing tone whenever the forehead reaches a certain temperature. The more advanced models will even provide an auto-shutdown of the cranium when the brain is not in use, as an energy-saving measure.

Visual Eyeglasses for Windows 1.0 will be available in the UK from February 2004, the price probably somewhere in the £50 for the Home edition up to £3000 for the Enterprise edition.

Meanwhile, I've been curious about the Facial Stylus for Men. Anyone seen one?