The hand-picked successor to Colin Sell, JLE (actually related to Dunx, but neither will admit it) is the foremost proponent of the Ruttsborough Style of MC since, well, Eamon Ruttsborough himself. Quite a shame as he applies it to his music. He is also a well-known amateur cricketer who boasts that he can bowl a wrong'un, despite no evidence of it ever being seen by anyone sober -- along with the claims of hitting 5 sixes in an over (never attested to), and clean-bowling Nick Knight (everyone's done that). When he's not tickling the keys of the piano, keyboard, or his Vauxhall Nova, he can be seen leading the cheers at Manchester City matches with his little baton.

In an effort to hide the circumstance that he is, in fact, an unusually home-loving person who seldom if ever stirs outside the borders of Llandudno, CdM has been known to play MC around the clock, thereby simulating a presence in almost every part of the known world. His hobbies include Sumo wrestling and growing potted fronds, and he works as a part-time name writer for IKEA products.

Kevan is, in fact, an entirely artificial construct. Generated by mistake in a top secret Haywards Heath laboratory, "he" is in fact several million lines of unterminated code, replicating "him"self every 2 years, the clone killing its parent as soon as it works out how to terminate all the uncommented instructions. It is believed that Kevan deduced the existence of the Internet from first principles, and established a connection in spite of there being no comms link to the server on which he resides. "His" minders have given up attempts to power down the server, and now simply keep "him" pointed to various MC serves, observing that "he" manages to pass the Turing test in the context of these games without anyone suspecting. Engage "him" in open play if you must, but remember - like the Urban Spaceman, baby - he don't exist!

Crescenter by day, drag diva by night, Projoy's showstopping rendition of Dreamgirls anthem "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" has to be seen and heard to be believed. The same passion is evident in his MC play, by turns lyrical and fierce -- and when it comes to diagonal pickering in the third quadrant he can really belt 'em out. Both roles occasionally combine to striking effect: few realise that Projoy's famous Acre Street moves were whipped up on a trusty foot-treddle Singer using offcuts from some of his glitzier frocks.

There is a strange cult of fanatics called the BeeBops who believe that if the correct arrangement of tube stations has been energised during a game of Crescent then the God Beboth will rise again and dowse his followers in the richest creamiest custard. Note that "Bob the Dog" is an anagram of "God Beboth", revealing this player as one such BeeBop fanatic who no doubt dons the regulation uniform of lime green Y-fronts and marmite smeared legs. Watch out for his frequent use of cult code words such as "kipper", "Bromsgrove" and "Mark E Smith" during his fevered analytical play and be warned; never eat his custard creams.