mc5 - Carpe Diem - Fish of the Day

My barber's tunaburger has gone stiff and purple. [cf. Facial Nightwear].

Caesar adsum iam forte

Caesar supplements it with sum strong preserve

Habla usted una montadiente?

Breadmaster

Has anyone lost a diamond mountain?

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

Ash gets up my nose from inconsiderate smokers, Ash gets up my nose from idiot smokers,
Ash gets up my nose from cretinous smokers, Death to all smokers!

exeunt omnes

They've all been executed.

Gebrauchen Sie Insektenvertilgungsmittel.

Well I never. That incy wincey spider is climbing up the spout.

Wo steckst du gleich das Köpfchen hin?

Why are you hammering a stake through my head?

namaste

Breadmaster

Our ship is completely buggered.

Une foi, une loi, un roi.

I'm mad, I need the toilet, and I'm hungry.

Devo engoli-los inteiros?

Is the entire english race satanic?

Teo toriate konomama iko

My mother has run off with a theatrical troupe again.

mi casa es su casa

We've got squatters!

Llyfrgell Cyhoeddus

My life has been saved by a seagull with a robotic head.

Non piove ma cola.

penelope

Please don't piss in my drink

café con leche

Would you like to come in for..."coffee"?

tu es Petrus

Projoy

Fill 'er up.

ne te confundum illegitimi

Never contest paternity suits

Arma virumque cano

I am protected by a highly infectious CocaCola container.

Ici le prévision des temps.

Dujon

Your television licence has been temporarily suspended.

Es ist Oberseite niederwirft

Do not write on the other side of this page.

dabo claves regni caelorum

Use a pair of percussion sticks to summon the King.

Barriga cheia, cara alegre.

PIB

"Bring your chia pet, Carmen Electra!" DICTUM MEUM PACTUM

My diarrhoea medicine is packed.

Dein ist mein herz und soll es ewig bleiben!

Eat my heart and colour my wig blueberry. (A hip slang expression of astonishment.)

et in arcadia ego

penelope

He reckons he's a pinball wizard.

parc fermé

Allotment

Jag har lite ont i halsen, och hostar mycket

DrQu+xum

Hamish! You've got a new toy Jaguar, I see...

Zan titotlanehuia

You'd look silly in a roadgoing helicopter.

Yenilen pehlivan gurese doymaz.

plump

Of course you can get in, just grease the palm of Ivan the doorman.

Cet outil ne vaut rien

A low turnout.

So lass deine büchsen im walde stehn?

Uncle Korky

Whilst the girl eats the bushes, I'm staining the welder.

Buenos tardes.

I like Dr Who.

Ne ekersen, o'nu bicersin.

If you shine my nose, I will give you your nose. (A Klingon proverb.)

nunc dimittis

Big Dave

Nuns are a stupid crowd

güle güle, alahsmaladžk

Alas, your goolies appear to be knackered.

Già il sole dal gange. Nel puro ardor

PaulWay

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Quantum ille canis est in fenestra?

Is it possible to use a rubbish bin as a makeshift particle accelerator?

Sakinilan goze cop batar.

He who drink too much sake get into fight with police.

gaudeamus igitur

Please sign here but you must use this multi-coloured-fluorescent-gel pen.

Laue lüfte blumen düfte, alle lenz und jugendlust!

Breadmaster

Lift the daft bloom, and go! Give up lusting after jugs for Lent!

mens sana in corpore sano

Words importing the masculine also include the neuter
Laudamus te, benedicamus te, adoramus te, glorificamus te.

Let us praise tea, bless tea, adore tea, glofity tea.

Les sanglots longs des violons de l'automne blessent mon coeur d'une langueur monotone.

Wol

The karaoke queens yearn for road rage, blessing my scabby dog with a dull tonguing.

Je suis le ténébreux, le veuf, l'inconsolé (Flanders & Swann invoked)

The Swiss are full of tenacity, verve and depression.

La cattiveria ritorna su chi l'ha fatta.

Only real cats get overweight on Japanese food.

Pan welwch yr olau coch aroswch yma.

Make me some pan-fried porridge with oil of rose cockles.

exceptio probat regulam

Tuj

Well, once a week does you good, they say...

volo comprare nonnulla tegumembra

The relative speed of your membranes is greater than zero.

Äpplet faller inte långt från trädet.

Uncle Korky

I want to swap my failing applet for a Frankinsh lantern.

Ich möchte Raak sehen, dieses zu übersetzen!

Forgive me! for I have mocked Raak's miniature zoo collection

Drum heg ich sie auch so treu an der brust

Tuj

The female percussionist on the auk has her trousers pulled up an awfully long way.

Precipitevolissimevolmente

Big Dave

It rains very hard, all the bloody time

Herr Ober! Es gibt eine fliege in meiner Suppe

Mr. Oboeist! Give us a tootle to help our soprano get in tune.

Er entdeckte der Welt, was die Antike sei, er zeigte dem menschlichen Geiste, was die Natur und die Welt sei. Diese Taten vollbrachte der deutsche Geist aus sich, aus seinem innersten Verlangen, sich seiner bewusst zu werden. Und dieses Bewusstsein sagte ihm, was er zum ersten Male der Welt verkünden konnte, dass das Schöne und Edle nicht um des Vorteils, ja selbst nicht um des Ruhmes und der Unerkennung willen in die Welt tritt: und alles, was im Sinne dieser Lehre gewirkt wird, ist 'deutsch', und deshalb ist der Deutsche gross; und nur, was in diesem Sinne gewirkt wird, kann zur Grösse Deutschlands führen.

She entered the deck with her welding gear, where she spoke of her antics, and she sought the men who liked the spirits of nature and welding, so they said. Their potatoes ran boldly towards the spirit of Holland, sick yet sane, immersed in their language, sick yet sane, wimpy and wordy. And their wimpy sanity saddened him, because her ex-husband had welded children's cots - that's the shaven but idle git in his 40s, yes, selfish git with the rheumatism and wilful unemployment in the welding industry: and friends, whom he sinned with, leering at their wierd work, calling it "Dutch," but he'd never actually been to Holland in any serious way; and now, these sins affected his own weird work, dragging him into the truly serious fires of Holland.

Många bäckar små gör en stor å.

The fellow returns, bloodied, to the supermarket.

Et in terra pax, pax hominibus.

[Darren] Bravo!

rab

[Raak] Indeed, but I'm curious as to where you got this quote (assuming you didn't make it up yourself, which is indeed possible). I've tried googling but thanks to a somewhat unconventional use (to my mind) of the dative in the first clause, it doesn't come up with anything.

[rab] I googled for "German quotations" and came across a page of Wagner quotes. I can see why Hitler was a fan.

[rab, Raak] It's interesting to hear where you all pick up your quotations from. My German ones all come from 'Schubert - 200 Songs for Voice & Piano' selected and edited by Sergius Kagen [IMC. New York]. It contains the English translations which, given the somewhat florid, overblown nature of the romantic verse, are chucklesome enough [even before you lot apply your skills to them].
At this point in time, I cannot do justice to Rosie's last quote so I'm leaving it for someone who can.

rab

[Chalky] To be fair to dear Franz, the only Lied I know in any detail had its lyrics written by Heine. But then I'm quite a fan of his, feeling him in many people's minds to be cast in Beethoven's shadow. In the meantime...

He who is sardined in terror, is sardined into the gay bus.

Hyvaa Joulua ja Onnellista Uutta Vuotta

Never joke with the honesty of the floating voter.

Hänchen klein, ging allein, in die weiter Weld hinein.

[Darren] Marvellous stuff. Do I sense the germination of a new game here?

Clean your hands, my gang allies, in the water behind the weld.

Tack för det!

Thanks all for the comments! I was rather worried someone else would come up with a better "translation" while I was working on mine, but that didn't happen luckily. Incidentally, I get my quotes and proverbs from a variety of sources: some from the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, and others from online proverb collections.