Free kick - equaliser - oh brother! (From the commentary on the '98 World Cup)

Oops, my move.
När kunderna som drabbats protesterat har de mötts av hot om indrivning och stämningar

Don't condemn some lifeless bats - a rat is picketing John Motson, now a hot Buddhist who refuses to drive Scottish cars that stutter. (A letter written to Ally McCoist by a Ukranian fan with a particularly bad dictionary)

dura lex sed lex

Durex - made from legs.

Oppmøtet var også lavere enn regjeringen hadde håpet

This motet shows you how to wash your pet's hat in the rain.

ante bellum

I implore you O sister of my proud father to please call them soonest

Danka zrob-co, bo cie zdupcza

Thankyou to Robbie and gang - when the crowds say Bo! Selecta

Ne pas mélanger piles neuves et usagées

Please don't use melon scrapings on your piles

Muihin konsertteihin myydään lippuja kunkin tilaisuuden järjestäjän valitsemassa lippu

My concert teeth have slipped down the back of the sofa.

By way of the merest hint of a suggestion that a certain stage may have been reached:

Croissant à la Matin-Tonne

Hmm, that looks familiar... French, is it? Let's see, morning... ton... croissant? Something about breakfast?

I'm stumped.

A worry, my fine friend - I wonder whether they are toasted or roasted? Nevertheless, it's the weight that bothers me! Then again, it could be something to with Easter?

I too shall retire.

Mornington Crescent

I say, Mornington Crescent!