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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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begonia j ?
[Both of you] On (anag.).
Grapefruit?
[SM] Not a grapefruit.
Pomegranate? Are they Wisbechian? Seems a bit unlikely
I'm running very low on smooth fruits with enough letters that you just cut up.
Try a different type of question, then. And BTW it's not pomegranates.
Does "berry" form part of the AOTC?
[R] No.
… of “crumb cue”?
[CdM] Not that either.
Would an ordinary person include this in a fruit salad?
[Raak] I can't speak for the Wisbechians, but it's not a normal part of fruit salad.
… of “Avoca do”?
[CdM] Avoca-No.
… of “ban an a”?
[CdM] No-o, No-o-o-o.
... of (some kind of) "lemon"?
I guess SM asked that before, although B's answer didn't technically rule out a particular variety of melon. But all the ones I can think of are eaten in fruit salads or cooked (winter melon, for example). I'm struggling to think of something (always?) eaten raw but not included in a fruit salad...
[CdM] Why, yes, it does include those letters. (Glad someone noticed the clue.)
BTW I ruled out fruit salads because theoretically tomatoes could be used therein. Let's say if you buy fruit salad from a shop you won't find this in it.
Usually. In my experience.
Is it a type of melon?
[RtG] Yes!
… of “wore mantle”?
(though I’d view that as a common fruit salad ingredient)
[CdM] Oohh you are posh! Yes.
… of “two man reel”?
[CdM] Yes, that too. Restlessness among the Wisbechians/Wisbechites/Wisbechers in the audience.
… of “moral tween”?
[CdM] Ho-hum. Yes. Newt morale is sinking as calculations show several thousands of possible anagrams. And you wouldn't want to be responsible for the discouragement of those cute amphibians, would you?
… of “Water, Mel? No”?
[B, re newts]They’ll get better.
Never mind! I think I’ve got it!!!

Is it a Passiflora laurifolia?
[CdM] Nope. Not elm wear, either.
Someone put this game out of its misery, please.
Vladimir: Well, shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.
They do not move.
(Watermelon for Godot)
Please?
Surely some Real Men Wot the answer? Must we find a Metal Owner to sacrifice a Moral Tween at a black mass? Alert Me Now when someone puzzles it out.
Is it a watermelon?
I think it's called a winner, but it's been such a long time
A fishing boat appeared. Looked up the trawler omen meaning and found that it meant I was indebted for my state of mind, and as a mental ower I had to declare a winner. But newly omèrta had been invoked, and I could only inspire the grass with my lawn emoter to spell out their name, Mo Trelawney. Take this baton and let's have less of this nonsense.God bless all who sail in you.
In an attempt to kick-start the game, a nice simple VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with possible small amounts of ANIMAL
A foodstuff?
Smokey bacon crisps?
Did this/these exist in the year 1800?
Foodstuff? I’m going to go with Yes. *audience members start pulling their dictionaries from their backpacks, briefcases, handbags and messenger bags, and the muttering begins immediately*
Smok(e)y bacon crisps? No.
Exist in 1800? Yes.
Is the mineral water?
Mineral = water? No, though water is involved.
Actually, forget I said that about water being involved. It’s at best misleading, and it’s not helpful.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Not normally eaten by humans?
Vegetable = fruit? Yes.
Not eaten by humans? Were I to be annoyingly and misleadingly literal, I’d say Yes. The AOTC is not normally eaten by humans. But the reasonable answer is: No, because the vegetable (and animal) component is consumed by humans.
Dog biscuits?
Dog biscuits? No.
Bran flakes with fruit pieces and milk?
Breakfast? No.
A work by Damien Hirst involving a lot of formaldehyde?
Shark tank? No.
Does the mineral bit refer to the container?
Mineral = Container? Yes. *applause*
Is the misleading water In the Cells of the Eggplant?
What part of "forget I said that about water being involved" was so hard to understand, Raak?
C of E? No.
A jar of cranberry sauce?
Jar of cranberry sauce? No, but a *smattering of applause*
A pack of mince pies?
A pack of mince pies? No. *silence*
Is ye container made of glass?
It may yet be solved in time
Container made of glass? Yes.
Is it a drink?
A jar of Marmite?
A toast?
Is it a preserve?
Drink? Inside the container, Yes.
Marmite? No.
Toast, with or without marmite? No (but a *smattering of applause*
Preserve? No.
A cocktail?
Cocktail? No.
A bowl of strawberries and cream?
Strawberries and cream? That’s an unusual drink. No.
A smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Effervescent?
Fizzy? Yes.
Alcoholiuc?
Babycham?
Alcoholic? Yes.
Babycham? *The French delegation in the audience rise en masse and walk out of the auditorium* No.
A glass of champagne?
Glass of champagne? *prolonged applause* No.
A bottle of champagne?
A bottle of champagne? Yes! Just in time for the new year! I have a baton here. Just hold it for me while I slice the top off it with this sword.
(Hic!) The next is MINERAL.
An empty bottle of champagne?
[CdM] No, I've already turned this one into a table light.
A single element?
[B] Generally not a single element.
Primarily or exclusively metal?
Something earthy?
Does it have a specific shape?
[CdM] All metal.
[R] Earthy like a lump of clay? No. Earthy like a garden fork? No. Earthy like the Willendorf Venus? No.
[RtG] Has a specific shape.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Smaller than a toaster.
Unique?
[CdM] Not unique.
A 10mm socket for a socket wrench?
I'm sure I had one once.
[B] Not a 10mm socket. Nor a 5/16” socket. Nor a #12 Torx wrench. Nor a three-quarter Gribley clamp.
BTW Gribley measured everything in eighths, that should have been a six-eighths clamp. Is it a statuette?
[RtG] Not a statuette.
Associated with a particular culture?
[CdM] Not associated with a particular culture.
Functional?
[CdM] Yes, functional.
A coin?
[C] Not a coin.
Would you find it in a cutlery drawer?
[RtG] Not found in a cutlery drawer.
Smaller than a slice of toast?
[CdM] Generally smaller than a slice of toast, I think, and I’m thinking of a big slice cut from a proper loaf, not a dainty crostini nibble.
Would you find it in a toolbox?
[RtG] Not found in a toolbox.
Would most morniversers own one?
Is the metal brass, either largely or wholly?
[CdM] Most Morniversers, quite possibly all but you never know, would not own one.
[Rosie] Not brass.
Is it part of a larger whole? Also, does it begin with P?
[CdM] Not a part of a larger whole. Does not begin with P.
There are two words on the card, one being the indefinite article.
A horseshoe?
[CdM] Good guess, but not a horseshoe.
A tin cup?
[RtG] Not a tin cup.
BTW, while "generally not a single element" was technically correct, most people don't really think of it as an alloy. Consider it to be "mostly a single element".
Is it of significant monetary value?
[CdM] Leaving aside archaeological remains, antiques, and over-priced handmade replicas on Etsy, no significant monetary value.
A piece of jewellery?
[B] Not jewellery.
A hint
The AOTC does not contain a Q.
Anything to do with animals?
[RtG] Its use usually relates to animals.
Are you sure it’s not a horseshoe?
[CdM] (laughter) One could say that it is the very opposite of a horseshoe.
A horsehat?
[bl] No, opposite in a different way.
A cowbell?
[RtG] Not a cowbell.
Hint: These aren’t much used these days, if at all. The British Museum has one that probably dates from Roman Britain.
Is it a bad luck charm?
[CdM] (laughter) Nothing so ineffective as a charm.
An ox goad?
[B] Not an ox goad, but that's the right direction relative to a horseshoe. You just need to go several times as far.
A spur?
[S] Not a spur, but stiull pointing in the right direction relative to a horseshoe. The direction here is releted to function, not geometry.
Is it used on more than one animal?
[RtG] The Wikipedia article on this mentions several types of animals, as well as some types of inanimate object, that it is or was used in relation to.
A bit?
[B] Not a bit.

Hint: This is not part of the equipage of an animal. The response to CdM's last guess bears pondering.

A bear trap?
[CdM] Getting into the ballpark. Not a bear trap.
Is there a religious context?
[RtG] Not religious.
Gotta finish this!
I think that the limit on guesses should be lifted... A snare? A birdcage?
[S] Not a snare (but audience appreciative).
Not a birdcage (audience less so).
The answer is two words, including the indefinite article. It does not contain any of Q, X, J, or Z.
The answer is also the name of a plant, named for some slight similarity of shape to the AOTC.
You don't want to step on one of these.
The second word on the card has 7 letters.
A caltrop?
[B] It is indeed a caltrop. And as the Wingèd Footstep of Time descends on the Lego brick of Eternity…
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