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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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Is it north of the equator?
Form of AOTC? The AOTC is [Mountain Name]. But the judges would accept an answer in a similar form to "The mountain which stood in for the Lonely Mountain in the film version of the Hobbit"
Aoraki, which stood in for the Lonely Mountain in the film version of the Hobbit? No. *applause*
North of the equator? No.
Was the movie released in the last four years?
Released in last four years? No.
Mount Ngauruhoe/Mount Doom?
Let's get this out of the way: was the original author JRR Tolkein?
test
Weird. I can apparently apropos, but not stand
JRRT? Yes, because the AOTC is indeed Mount Ngauruhoe, the volcano that was used to represent Mount Doom in the LotR films. Mount Ngauruhoe is a mere 25 km away as the Nazgûl flies (can you have just one Nazgûl?) from where I have been hanging out for the past few weeks. It's a spectacular mountain.

This AVMA was taking so long that I seriously considered just throwing the baton away when we were hiking near the mountain a week or so ago. But I'm glad I didn't, because now I can hand the baton over to Rack. Which I'm totally going to do. Only maybe just not yet.
Hidden textAh. Apparently mc5 did not like the diacritic on the a in the name of the mountain. My apologies to the Maori.
s/Rack/Raak, obvs. But he still can’t have the baton.
Where's Gollum when you need him? Anyway, the next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Hang on, I forgot what I set already. (There is no antimemetics division.)
(thinks)
Ok, the next is MINERAL.
Test
1212, oh dear, more numberspam. Sorry.
Is it a stone etched with the AOTC?
Quick, before it changes again!
[Tuj] Your observation has collapsed the wave function. It is not a stone etched with the AOTC (AOTS?).
Is it larger than the Great Pyramid of Giza?
Is it unique?
[SM] (After some research.) It is not larger than the Great Pyramid.
[CdM] It is unique.
Is it man-made?
[R] Partly man-made.
Can you walk inside it?
[SM] You can walk inside part of it, but a simple "no" might be a better answer.
Was dynamite involved in its construction?
Is it a dam?
A quarry?
A barrow?
...and four come along at once
[SM] I think it unlikely, but I don't know.
[C,R,B] Neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire a dam, nor a quarry, nor a barrow.
Calling it partly man-made may have been misleading. A simple "no" might have been a better answer there also.
Is the part that you can walk inside a natural cave?
[C] Not a natural cave.
Does it exist on Earth today?
Yes, it exists on Earth today.
Is it a geographic feature?
[CdM] Yes, a geographic feature!
Does it have 'DO NOT REMOVE' (or similar wording, I don't remember the exact) painted on it in large stern letters?
Does it have a religious or mystical function?
[SM] There is one warning sign I imagine is likely to be there, but nothing like "DO NOT REMOVE".
[C] No current religious function.
Is the warning sign more likely to be something like CAUTION: DO NOT FALL OFF ?
[CdM] Something like, in the sense that it would advise caution. (I have not actually seen the place myself to see just what warnings are posted, and haven't found anything on Google Street View.)
Is it in England?
[B] It is in England!
Is it mainly covered in grass?
[T] Judging from Google Maps, I'd say it is not mainly covered in grass.
Does it turn up in Shakespeare?
Does it involve water in a significant way?
[B] Not in Shakespeare, as far as Google tells me.
[CdM] Yes! There is water involved!
Is it an island?
St. Michael's Mount?
Lindisfarne?
[T] It is an island, but [CdM] not Lindisfarne, because [R] it is indeed St Michael's Mount. Have this perspex replica of the Great Pyramid with St Michael's Mount inside.
Good heavens. It's me!
This one is strictly speaking ABSTRACT but with strong MINERALconnections.
Sea level?
The weather?
Radio Caroline?
Aluminium futures?
Fictional?
Scientific?
Are the mineral connections liquid?
Sorry for the delay. Distracted by thunderstorms and general torpor.
(CdM) Not sea-level
(Tuj) Despite the above remark, NO
(Bis) NOT Radio Caroline
(SM) NOT Al futures
(Tuj) NOT fictional but maybe uncommon.
(Raak) NOT scientific
(CdM) Mineral connection NOT liquid.
Fictional?
Associated with a particular location?
Is it related to civil engineering?
(Raak) Already answered that. See Tuj (above). Still not fictional.
(CdM) NO. Could be anywhere (on earth).
(SM) YES, could be, but not its most common use.
Geology?
Is the mineral connection metal?
(SM) NOT geology
(Raak) Very probably the answer is YES but strictly it doesn't have to be.
Does magnetism play a role?
Is it radioactive?
(CdM) Magnetism? NO
(RTG) Radioactive? NO.
Does the Abstractness have to do with mysticism, occultism, woo in general?
Is the mineral connection predominantly a single element?
Is it on the earth?
(Raak) NO, nothing that fancy.
(CdM) A single element? YES, or very nearly so.
(Bismarck) YES, practically all of them.
Is the mineral connection man-made?
(Raak) YES, man-made.
Are the mineral things especially valuable?
(Raak) Mineral bits valuable? NO, not in the least.
A Pearly King, and the sequins thereof?
Is the AOTC to do with things that attach things to things?
(Bismarck) Your imagination does you proud but you are still close to Absolute Zero. So, alas, computer, right for once, says NO.
(CdM) YES, very much so.
An artifical superintelligence that converts everything into paperclips?
(Raak) Microsoft shall not rule the world! So, fortunately, NO.
ISO 10642?
(Bismarck) Beth yw hwn?
It's a screw, Rosie.
(Bis) A remarkable deduction. But we need to know more.
A left-handed screw?
(though, on reflection (see what I did there?) I wouldn’t call that abstract)
The sinister CdM is the winner! Surely the thread's arse-about-facedness is abstract even if the contraption itself is just a lump of metal. Take this laevo-baton and run with it.
Again? I'm a bit swamped right now, tbh, and can't give this game the love and tender care it deserves. So I'm going to leave the baton lying right here for whoever wants to pick it up.
How about a collective consciousness round? :-)
Does it begin with P?
That is only valid in Tuj-space.

Is it heavier than a duck?

Does it have one or more sporrans?
It is heavier than a duck
It possesses zero sporrans

Is it alive?
Unique?
It's alive!
It's NOT unique!

Does it appear on a national flag?
[Flag] No, I don't think it does.
Does it live in the ocean?
It does not live in the ocean.

Might it take tea with the vicar?

Is it real?
It is (more precisely they are) unlikely to take tea with the vicar, but the possibility can’t be ruled out entirely.
It is (they are) real.

Are they associated with a particular location?
Not really, people think they are but that's more an urban myth.

Does it or do they have feathers?

They do have feathers! (audience amusement)

Is this associated with some profession?

[Profession] Yes
Are they predominantly female?
Predominantly female? Yes.
Are they Burlesque Dancers?
They are not burlesque dancers.
Are they British?
Originally yes, though not always native.

Is it the all the parrots that have been used in the famous Monty Python sketch?

Well yes it is! Though I'd worry about having a mind like that. Here is a baton which was used as a perch in the first version of the sketch, ignore the thing nailed to it. Now pick the next subject and infuse some life into this.
I knew it. Sort of. So the next one is VEGETABLE. Have at it.
Is it carnivorous?
Does it taste good?
[SM] Not carnivorous.
[CdM] Does taste good.
Processed in any way before consumption?
Is this vegetable a fruit?
Is it a berry?
[Ro] It is not processed before consumption, other than cutting it up.
[CdM] It is a fruit.
[SM] It is a berry.
Is it red?
Is it commercially grown in the UK?
[CdM] Probably best to say that it isn't red.
[Raak] Yes, they are farmed in Wisbech and other places.
Ah! Be it a Fenland fruit?
Gooseberry?
[C] If it's grown in Wisbech, I suppose it is.
Hint: not a native fruit of the swamp.
[RtG] Not a gooseberry.
Is it an anagram?
… of “ruble byre”?
[SM] Anagrams certainly exist.
[CdM] No.
… of “dryer rebel”?
of "monel"?
[CdM] the "dreelberry" does not exist.
[SM] the AOTC has more than 5 letters.
… of “colder ruby”?
Hidden text [B] Maybe not, but the Bavarian lederberry certainly does
[CdM] That one doesn't grow in Wisbech.
Does it have a fuzzy exterior?
And I don't mean once it's gone bad
… of “bray longer”?
[SM] No, it is smooth.
[CdM] Vegan tie (anag.)
… of “carry Bren”?
begonia j ?
[Both of you] On (anag.).
Grapefruit?
[SM] Not a grapefruit.
Pomegranate? Are they Wisbechian? Seems a bit unlikely
I'm running very low on smooth fruits with enough letters that you just cut up.
Try a different type of question, then. And BTW it's not pomegranates.
Does "berry" form part of the AOTC?
[R] No.
… of “crumb cue”?
[CdM] Not that either.
Would an ordinary person include this in a fruit salad?
[Raak] I can't speak for the Wisbechians, but it's not a normal part of fruit salad.
… of “Avoca do”?
[CdM] Avoca-No.
… of “ban an a”?
[CdM] No-o, No-o-o-o.
... of (some kind of) "lemon"?
I guess SM asked that before, although B's answer didn't technically rule out a particular variety of melon. But all the ones I can think of are eaten in fruit salads or cooked (winter melon, for example). I'm struggling to think of something (always?) eaten raw but not included in a fruit salad...
[CdM] Why, yes, it does include those letters. (Glad someone noticed the clue.)
BTW I ruled out fruit salads because theoretically tomatoes could be used therein. Let's say if you buy fruit salad from a shop you won't find this in it.
Usually. In my experience.
Is it a type of melon?
[RtG] Yes!
… of “wore mantle”?
(though I’d view that as a common fruit salad ingredient)
[CdM] Oohh you are posh! Yes.
… of “two man reel”?
[CdM] Yes, that too. Restlessness among the Wisbechians/Wisbechites/Wisbechers in the audience.
… of “moral tween”?
[CdM] Ho-hum. Yes. Newt morale is sinking as calculations show several thousands of possible anagrams. And you wouldn't want to be responsible for the discouragement of those cute amphibians, would you?
… of “Water, Mel? No”?
[B, re newts]They’ll get better.
Never mind! I think I’ve got it!!!

Is it a Passiflora laurifolia?
[CdM] Nope. Not elm wear, either.
Someone put this game out of its misery, please.
Vladimir: Well, shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.
They do not move.
 (Watermelon for Godot)
Please?
Surely some Real Men Wot the answer? Must we find a Metal Owner to sacrifice a Moral Tween at a black mass? Alert Me Now when someone puzzles it out.
Is it a watermelon?
I think it's called a winner, but it's been such a long time
A fishing boat appeared. Looked up the trawler omen meaning and found that it meant I was indebted for my state of mind, and as a mental ower I had to declare a winner. But newly omèrta had been invoked, and I could only inspire the grass with my lawn emoter to spell out their name, Mo Trelawney. Take this baton and let's have less of this nonsense.God bless all who sail in you.
In an attempt to kick-start the game, a nice simple VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with possible small amounts of ANIMAL
A foodstuff?
Smokey bacon crisps?
Did this/these exist in the year 1800?
Foodstuff? I’m going to go with Yes. *audience members start pulling their dictionaries from their backpacks, briefcases, handbags and messenger bags, and the muttering begins immediately*
Smok(e)y bacon crisps? No.
Exist in 1800? Yes.
Is the mineral water?
Mineral = water? No, though water is involved.
Actually, forget I said that about water being involved. It’s at best misleading, and it’s not helpful.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Not normally eaten by humans?
Vegetable = fruit? Yes.
Not eaten by humans? Were I to be annoyingly and misleadingly literal, I’d say Yes. The AOTC is not normally eaten by humans. But the reasonable answer is: No, because the vegetable (and animal) component is consumed by humans.
Dog biscuits?
Dog biscuits? No.
Bran flakes with fruit pieces and milk?
Breakfast? No.
A work by Damien Hirst involving a lot of formaldehyde?
Shark tank? No.
Does the mineral bit refer to the container?
Mineral = Container? Yes. *applause*
Is the misleading water In the Cells of the Eggplant?
What part of "forget I said that about water being involved" was so hard to understand, Raak?
C of E? No.
A jar of cranberry sauce?
Jar of cranberry sauce? No, but a *smattering of applause*
A pack of mince pies?
A pack of mince pies? No. *silence*
Is ye container made of glass?
It may yet be solved in time
Container made of glass? Yes.
Is it a drink?
A jar of Marmite?
A toast?
Is it a preserve?
Drink? Inside the container, Yes.
Marmite? No.
Toast, with or without marmite? No (but a *smattering of applause*
Preserve? No.
A cocktail?
Cocktail? No.
A bowl of strawberries and cream?
Strawberries and cream? That’s an unusual drink. No.
A smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Effervescent?
Fizzy? Yes.
Alcoholiuc?
Babycham?
Alcoholic? Yes.
Babycham? *The French delegation in the audience rise en masse and walk out of the auditorium* No.
A glass of champagne?
Glass of champagne? *prolonged applause* No.
A bottle of champagne?
A bottle of champagne? Yes! Just in time for the new year! I have a baton here. Just hold it for me while I slice the top off it with this sword.
(Hic!) The next is MINERAL.
An empty bottle of champagne?
[CdM] No, I've already turned this one into a table light.
A single element?
[B] Generally not a single element.
Primarily or exclusively metal?
Something earthy?
Does it have a specific shape?
[CdM] All metal.
[R] Earthy like a lump of clay? No. Earthy like a garden fork? No. Earthy like the Willendorf Venus? No.
[RtG] Has a specific shape.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Smaller than a toaster.
Unique?
[CdM] Not unique.
A 10mm socket for a socket wrench?
I'm sure I had one once.
[B] Not a 10mm socket. Nor a 5/16” socket. Nor a #12 Torx wrench. Nor a three-quarter Gribley clamp.
BTW Gribley measured everything in eighths, that should have been a six-eighths clamp. Is it a statuette?
[RtG] Not a statuette.
Associated with a particular culture?
[CdM] Not associated with a particular culture.
Functional?
[CdM] Yes, functional.
A coin?
[C] Not a coin.
Would you find it in a cutlery drawer?
[RtG] Not found in a cutlery drawer.
Smaller than a slice of toast?
[CdM] Generally smaller than a slice of toast, I think, and I’m thinking of a big slice cut from a proper loaf, not a dainty crostini nibble.
Would you find it in a toolbox?
[RtG] Not found in a toolbox.
Would most morniversers own one?
Is the metal brass, either largely or wholly?
[CdM] Most Morniversers, quite possibly all but you never know, would not own one.
[Rosie] Not brass.
Is it part of a larger whole? Also, does it begin with P?
[CdM] Not a part of a larger whole. Does not begin with P.
There are two words on the card, one being the indefinite article.
A horseshoe?
[CdM] Good guess, but not a horseshoe.
A tin cup?
[RtG] Not a tin cup.
BTW, while "generally not a single element" was technically correct, most people don't really think of it as an alloy. Consider it to be "mostly a single element".
Is it of significant monetary value?
[CdM] Leaving aside archaeological remains, antiques, and over-priced handmade replicas on Etsy, no significant monetary value.
A piece of jewellery?
[B] Not jewellery.
A hint
The AOTC does not contain a Q.
Anything to do with animals?
[RtG] Its use usually relates to animals.
Are you sure it’s not a horseshoe?
[CdM] (laughter) One could say that it is the very opposite of a horseshoe.
A horsehat?
[bl] No, opposite in a different way.
A cowbell?
[RtG] Not a cowbell.
Hint: These aren’t much used these days, if at all. The British Museum has one that probably dates from Roman Britain.
Is it a bad luck charm?
[CdM] (laughter) Nothing so ineffective as a charm.
An ox goad?
[B] Not an ox goad, but that's the right direction relative to a horseshoe. You just need to go several times as far.
A spur?
[S] Not a spur, but stiull pointing in the right direction relative to a horseshoe. The direction here is releted to function, not geometry.
Is it used on more than one animal?
[RtG] The Wikipedia article on this mentions several types of animals, as well as some types of inanimate object, that it is or was used in relation to.
A bit?
[B] Not a bit.

Hint: This is not part of the equipage of an animal. The response to CdM's last guess bears pondering.

A bear trap?
[CdM] Getting into the ballpark. Not a bear trap.
Is there a religious context?
[RtG] Not religious.
Gotta finish this!
I think that the limit on guesses should be lifted... A snare? A birdcage?
[S] Not a snare (but audience appreciative).
Not a birdcage (audience less so).
The answer is two words, including the indefinite article. It does not contain any of Q, X, J, or Z.
The answer is also the name of a plant, named for some slight similarity of shape to the AOTC.
You don't want to step on one of these.
The second word on the card has 7 letters.
A caltrop?
[B] It is indeed a caltrop. And as the Wingèd Footstep of Time descends on the Lego brick of Eternity…
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