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King AVMA the III
help
Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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A left-handed screw?
(though, on reflection (see what I did there?) I wouldn’t call that abstract)
The sinister CdM is the winner! Surely the thread's arse-about-facedness is abstract even if the contraption itself is just a lump of metal. Take this laevo-baton and run with it.
Again? I'm a bit swamped right now, tbh, and can't give this game the love and tender care it deserves. So I'm going to leave the baton lying right here for whoever wants to pick it up.
How about a collective consciousness round? :-)
Does it begin with P?
That is only valid in Tuj-space.

Is it heavier than a duck?

Does it have one or more sporrans?
It is heavier than a duck
It possesses zero sporrans

Is it alive?
Unique?
It's alive!
It's NOT unique!

Does it appear on a national flag?
[Flag] No, I don't think it does.
Does it live in the ocean?
It does not live in the ocean.

Might it take tea with the vicar?

Is it real?
It is (more precisely they are) unlikely to take tea with the vicar, but the possibility can’t be ruled out entirely.
It is (they are) real.

Are they associated with a particular location?
Not really, people think they are but that's more an urban myth.

Does it or do they have feathers?

They do have feathers! (audience amusement)

Is this associated with some profession?

[Profession] Yes
Are they predominantly female?
Predominantly female? Yes.
Are they Burlesque Dancers?
They are not burlesque dancers.
Are they British?
Originally yes, though not always native.

Is it the all the parrots that have been used in the famous Monty Python sketch?

Well yes it is! Though I'd worry about having a mind like that. Here is a baton which was used as a perch in the first version of the sketch, ignore the thing nailed to it. Now pick the next subject and infuse some life into this.
I knew it. Sort of. So the next one is VEGETABLE. Have at it.
Is it carnivorous?
Does it taste good?
[SM] Not carnivorous.
[CdM] Does taste good.
Processed in any way before consumption?
Is this vegetable a fruit?
Is it a berry?
[Ro] It is not processed before consumption, other than cutting it up.
[CdM] It is a fruit.
[SM] It is a berry.
Is it red?
Is it commercially grown in the UK?
[CdM] Probably best to say that it isn't red.
[Raak] Yes, they are farmed in Wisbech and other places.
Ah! Be it a Fenland fruit?
Gooseberry?
[C] If it's grown in Wisbech, I suppose it is.
Hint: not a native fruit of the swamp.
[RtG] Not a gooseberry.
Is it an anagram?
… of “ruble byre”?
[SM] Anagrams certainly exist.
[CdM] No.
… of “dryer rebel”?
of "monel"?
[CdM] the "dreelberry" does not exist.
[SM] the AOTC has more than 5 letters.
… of “colder ruby”?
Hidden text [B] Maybe not, but the Bavarian lederberry certainly does
[CdM] That one doesn't grow in Wisbech.
Does it have a fuzzy exterior?
And I don't mean once it's gone bad
… of “bray longer”?
[SM] No, it is smooth.
[CdM] Vegan tie (anag.)
… of “carry Bren”?
begonia j ?
[Both of you] On (anag.).
Grapefruit?
[SM] Not a grapefruit.
Pomegranate? Are they Wisbechian? Seems a bit unlikely
I'm running very low on smooth fruits with enough letters that you just cut up.
Try a different type of question, then. And BTW it's not pomegranates.
Does "berry" form part of the AOTC?
[R] No.
… of “crumb cue”?
[CdM] Not that either.
Would an ordinary person include this in a fruit salad?
[Raak] I can't speak for the Wisbechians, but it's not a normal part of fruit salad.
… of “Avoca do”?
[CdM] Avoca-No.
… of “ban an a”?
[CdM] No-o, No-o-o-o.
... of (some kind of) "lemon"?
I guess SM asked that before, although B's answer didn't technically rule out a particular variety of melon. But all the ones I can think of are eaten in fruit salads or cooked (winter melon, for example). I'm struggling to think of something (always?) eaten raw but not included in a fruit salad...
[CdM] Why, yes, it does include those letters. (Glad someone noticed the clue.)
BTW I ruled out fruit salads because theoretically tomatoes could be used therein. Let's say if you buy fruit salad from a shop you won't find this in it.
Usually. In my experience.
Is it a type of melon?
[RtG] Yes!
… of “wore mantle”?
(though I’d view that as a common fruit salad ingredient)
[CdM] Oohh you are posh! Yes.
… of “two man reel”?
[CdM] Yes, that too. Restlessness among the Wisbechians/Wisbechites/Wisbechers in the audience.
… of “moral tween”?
[CdM] Ho-hum. Yes. Newt morale is sinking as calculations show several thousands of possible anagrams. And you wouldn't want to be responsible for the discouragement of those cute amphibians, would you?
… of “Water, Mel? No”?
[B, re newts]They’ll get better.
Never mind! I think I’ve got it!!!

Is it a Passiflora laurifolia?
[CdM] Nope. Not elm wear, either.
Someone put this game out of its misery, please.
Vladimir: Well, shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.
They do not move.
 (Watermelon for Godot)
Please?
Surely some Real Men Wot the answer? Must we find a Metal Owner to sacrifice a Moral Tween at a black mass? Alert Me Now when someone puzzles it out.
Is it a watermelon?
I think it's called a winner, but it's been such a long time
A fishing boat appeared. Looked up the trawler omen meaning and found that it meant I was indebted for my state of mind, and as a mental ower I had to declare a winner. But newly omèrta had been invoked, and I could only inspire the grass with my lawn emoter to spell out their name, Mo Trelawney. Take this baton and let's have less of this nonsense.God bless all who sail in you.
In an attempt to kick-start the game, a nice simple VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with possible small amounts of ANIMAL
A foodstuff?
Smokey bacon crisps?
Did this/these exist in the year 1800?
Foodstuff? I’m going to go with Yes. *audience members start pulling their dictionaries from their backpacks, briefcases, handbags and messenger bags, and the muttering begins immediately*
Smok(e)y bacon crisps? No.
Exist in 1800? Yes.
Is the mineral water?
Mineral = water? No, though water is involved.
Actually, forget I said that about water being involved. It’s at best misleading, and it’s not helpful.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Not normally eaten by humans?
Vegetable = fruit? Yes.
Not eaten by humans? Were I to be annoyingly and misleadingly literal, I’d say Yes. The AOTC is not normally eaten by humans. But the reasonable answer is: No, because the vegetable (and animal) component is consumed by humans.
Dog biscuits?
Dog biscuits? No.
Bran flakes with fruit pieces and milk?
Breakfast? No.
A work by Damien Hirst involving a lot of formaldehyde?
Shark tank? No.
Does the mineral bit refer to the container?
Mineral = Container? Yes. *applause*
Is the misleading water In the Cells of the Eggplant?
What part of "forget I said that about water being involved" was so hard to understand, Raak?
C of E? No.
A jar of cranberry sauce?
Jar of cranberry sauce? No, but a *smattering of applause*
A pack of mince pies?
A pack of mince pies? No. *silence*
Is ye container made of glass?
It may yet be solved in time
Container made of glass? Yes.
Is it a drink?
A jar of Marmite?
A toast?
Is it a preserve?
Drink? Inside the container, Yes.
Marmite? No.
Toast, with or without marmite? No (but a *smattering of applause*
Preserve? No.
A cocktail?
Cocktail? No.
A bowl of strawberries and cream?
Strawberries and cream? That’s an unusual drink. No.
A smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Effervescent?
Fizzy? Yes.
Alcoholiuc?
Babycham?
Alcoholic? Yes.
Babycham? *The French delegation in the audience rise en masse and walk out of the auditorium* No.
A glass of champagne?
Glass of champagne? *prolonged applause* No.
A bottle of champagne?
A bottle of champagne? Yes! Just in time for the new year! I have a baton here. Just hold it for me while I slice the top off it with this sword.
(Hic!) The next is MINERAL.
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