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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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[sessility] No, it's free-ranging
A cnidarian?
Not cnidarian
Is it theoretically immortal?
Is it a squid?
[immortal?] No.
[Squid] Yes! Some of nature's fascinatingest animals, and this is a fascinating squid
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni?
[Colossal Squid] No, but obviously homing in nicely.
Lepidoteuthis grimaldi?
No. There's about 300 species of squid, so only another 298 to go!
A cuttlefish?
No, definitely a squid.
Does it begin with P?
I failed to see what could possibly be more fascinating than the Grimaldi scaled squid, named after Prince Albert of Monaco, who was a fan and of whom it formed much of the after-dinner conversation. Lettuce carry on. Is it benthic?
[Psquid] No.
[Benthic] Yes, as a broad category
Fascinatingness vs Lepidoteuthis grimaldi - in deference to Prince Albert of Monaco I'll accept a draw
Humboldt squid?
[Humboldt] No. Humboldts seem to be reasonably ordinary, by squid standards.
I'm solid on narwhal, but squids are a bit of a blank with me. The kraken?
[kraken up] No.
The colossal squid?
[colossal] No, we had that already. Albeit in Latin
Is it that sick squid I owe you?
Terry Pratchett's "curious squid"?
Spirula spirula?
[Chalky, RtG, R] No, it's a real-world actual squid
If this is now a squid game, we risk our lives. Bathyteuthis abyssicola?
A species as opposed to a specimen?
[Bathyteuthis abyssicola] No. Neither warm nor cold, that guess.
[A species] Yes!
The striped pyjama squid?
[s.p.s.] No, but what a dapper animal.
I just learned of the existencd of the Antarctic neosquid, no doubt after having ingested a red pill. Is that it?
[Antarctic neosquid] No. That's sort of the opposite of the one I'm after
Opposite to the icy Antarctic, you say. Could it be Vampyroteuthis infernalis, the vampire squid from hell?
[Vampyroteuthis infernalis] Good guess, but you picked the wrong opposite. There are several possibilities.
Also, vampyroteuthis is not a squid. According to Monterey Aquarium, at least.
Tusoteuthis?
The purpleback flying squid (Sthenoteuthis oualaniensis)?
Flying squid. Two words that seem to go together as well as "bunch" and "water".
Found in Monterey Aquarium?
[Tusoteuthis] No. [Flying] No. [Monterey] No.
Squids aren't my forte, but it seems clear that those who name them lack nothing in creativity!
Gonatus fabricii? (Not to be confused with the late Timbergling avicii.)
[Bismarck] Agreed, but I think equal credit ought to go to the squids themselves.
[Gonatus fabricii] No
Australiteuthis aldrichi?
Wait, we’ve had the colossal squid, but have we had the giant squid – Architeuthis dux?
(autocorrect suggested “colossal squirrel”, and I shall lose some sleep over that mental image.)
[a.aldrichi] No. It's so teeny tiny!
[giant squid] No, but getting warmer, I think.
Giant Aquatic Squirrel?
[aquatic squirrels of unusual size] I don't believe they exist
Is it over one metre in size?
[>1m] Oh yes.
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