[C, T] No.
Man=made?
That is, man-made?
Is it smaller than a toaster OR is it bigger than a telephone box?
Has it existed for more than 100 years?
Is it typically powered by electricity?
Does its name end in 'ite'?
That'll eliminate a lot.
[R] Yes, man-made.
[C] Depends which dimensions you are talking about, both are true, and both false. Which Boolean operator that is, I don't know.
[T] It's electrically powered.
[S] Audience murmurs as the board displays "No".
[C] Depends which dimensions you are talking about, both are true, and both false. Which Boolean operator that is, I don't know.
[T] It's electrically powered.
[S] Audience murmurs as the board displays "No".
Does its name rhyme with 'ite', or 'ites'?
[S] Applause as it is revealed that one of the words on the card does indeed rhyme with "ite" or "ites".
I have been informed that the Boolean operator referred to above is the UM operator, where any input can give any output.
I have been informed that the Boolean operator referred to above is the UM operator, where any input can give any output.
Christmas lights?
My cat liked 'em.
[R] Not Christmas lights.
Can I buy it in a big Tesco?
Some sort of light or lights?
[G] No, not found in Tesco.
[R] Applause from the audience. Yes.
[R] Applause from the audience. Yes.
(signal-boosting Boolbar) Has it existed for more than 100 years?
[R'n'B] Missed that, the answer is Yes, accompanied by scattered applause.
Street lights?
[R] Much applause, though the answer is No.
Traffic lights?
Showing various colours?
[G] Yes! Audience goes wild for goldfinch.
[R] Also yes, but now no longer relevant.
So, goldfinch, take this multicoloured bayon, and, obeying the filter signals, turn right to greater things!
[R] Also yes, but now no longer relevant.
So, goldfinch, take this multicoloured bayon, and, obeying the filter signals, turn right to greater things!
Oh heck, just what I wanted for Christmas. And what’s this? *rustling of wrapping paper* oh! It’s MINERAL
First things first, is it actually feasible to wrap?
[SM] Very much depends, but suffice to say that kind of undertaking would require significantly more than paper and sticky tape.
Is it an astronomical object?
[B] No
Is it radioactive?
A geographical feature?
[Rosie] *very appreciative crowd* Yes
[Raak] in that you’d put it on a map, yes
[Raak] in that you’d put it on a map, yes
Sellafield, formerly Windscale?
The natural nuclear reactor discovered in Oklo?
[R/R] *hubbub dies down* No and no.
Is it underground?
[R] Not underground
Is it an element?
[B] No, it isn’t an element.
A hospital?
[R] Not a hospital
Is it a 'station' of some kind?
[SM] If it was then it isn’t anymore
Unique?
[CdM] By far the less deceptive answer is yes
Is it below the Earth's crust?
[T] Above the Earth's crust. Unless viewed from its antipodal point, of course, but let's not worry about that kind of pedantry.
Is it outside the UK?
[SM] Yes! Not in the UK.
Also, was probably a bit hedged with the station question. It was (part of) a ‘station’ of some kind.
Also, was probably a bit hedged with the station question. It was (part of) a ‘station’ of some kind.
Is it in Antarctica?
[R] It’s not in Antarctica.
Chernobyl?
Is it numbered?
[R/SM] yes to both! So…
Is it reactor no.4 at Chernobyl?
[SM] Indeed it is. So let’s carefully wrap that back up, with hope for a happy new year.
Ooh what's this? Such a fascinating ANIMAL.
Double points for getting it in Latin. Credit to Anna for the great idea.
A land animal?
Not a land animal.
Extinct?
Carduelis carduelis?
Does it begin with a proboscis?
[G] No
[T] No
[P] I don't think so.
[T] No
[P] I don't think so.
Is the Latin a tautonym?
A creature of the waters?
[B]No.
[R]Yes.
[R]Yes.
A whale?
No, but getting warmer.
Anguilla anguilla?
Carcharodon carcharias?
Tursiops truncatus?
Banjos banjos banjos?
Which I think ought to be written "Banjos! Banjos! Banjos!"
[a.a.] No
[c.c.] No
[t.t.] No
[b.b.b.] No
You need to go deeper
[c.c.] No
[t.t.] No
[b.b.b.] No
You need to go deeper
A shark? (i.e. Sharcus sharcus)
Banjos! Banjos! Banjos! Banjos! ?
Bass?
A blobfish?
[Sharks, banjos, bass and blobfish] All no, I'm afraid.
Is this a vertebrate?
[vertebrate] No. audience applause
Does it have a central nervous system?
[nerves] Yes.
Is it sessile?
[sessility] No, it's free-ranging
A cnidarian?
Not cnidarian
Is it theoretically immortal?
Is it a squid?
[immortal?] No.
[Squid] Yes! Some of nature's fascinatingest animals, and this is a fascinating squid
[Squid] Yes! Some of nature's fascinatingest animals, and this is a fascinating squid
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni?
[Colossal Squid] No, but obviously homing in nicely.
Lepidoteuthis grimaldi?
No. There's about 300 species of squid, so only another 298 to go!
A cuttlefish?
No, definitely a squid.
Does it begin with P?
I failed to see what could possibly be more fascinating than the Grimaldi scaled squid, named after Prince Albert of Monaco, who was a fan and of whom it formed much of the after-dinner conversation. Lettuce carry on. Is it benthic?
[Psquid] No.
[Benthic] Yes, as a broad category
Fascinatingness vs Lepidoteuthis grimaldi - in deference to Prince Albert of Monaco I'll accept a draw
[Benthic] Yes, as a broad category
Fascinatingness vs Lepidoteuthis grimaldi - in deference to Prince Albert of Monaco I'll accept a draw
Humboldt squid?
[Humboldt] No. Humboldts seem to be reasonably ordinary, by squid standards.
I'm solid on narwhal, but squids are a bit of a blank with me. The kraken?
[kraken up] No.
The colossal squid?
[colossal] No, we had that already. Albeit in Latin
Is it that sick squid I owe you?
Terry Pratchett's "curious squid"?
Spirula spirula?
[Chalky, RtG, R] No, it's a real-world actual squid
If this is now a squid game, we risk our lives. Bathyteuthis abyssicola?
A species as opposed to a specimen?
[Bathyteuthis abyssicola] No. Neither warm nor cold, that guess.
[A species] Yes!
[A species] Yes!
The striped pyjama squid?
[s.p.s.] No, but what a dapper animal.
I just learned of the existencd of the Antarctic neosquid, no doubt after having ingested a red pill. Is that it?
[Antarctic neosquid] No. That's sort of the opposite of the one I'm after
Opposite to the icy Antarctic, you say. Could it be Vampyroteuthis infernalis, the vampire squid from hell?
[Vampyroteuthis infernalis] Good guess, but you picked the wrong opposite. There are several possibilities.
Also, vampyroteuthis is not a squid. According to Monterey Aquarium, at least.
Tusoteuthis?
The purpleback flying squid (Sthenoteuthis oualaniensis)?
Flying squid. Two words that seem to go together as well as "bunch" and "water".
Found in Monterey Aquarium?
[Tusoteuthis] No. [Flying] No. [Monterey] No.
Squids aren't my forte, but it seems clear that those who name them lack nothing in creativity!
Gonatus fabricii? (Not to be confused with the late Timbergling avicii.)
[Bismarck] Agreed, but I think equal credit ought to go to the squids themselves.
[Gonatus fabricii] No
[Gonatus fabricii] No
Australiteuthis aldrichi?
Wait, we’ve had the colossal squid, but have we had the giant squid – Architeuthis dux?
(autocorrect suggested “colossal squirrel”, and I shall lose some sleep over that mental image.)
[a.aldrichi] No. It's so teeny tiny!
[giant squid] No, but getting warmer, I think.
[giant squid] No, but getting warmer, I think.
Giant Aquatic Squirrel?
[aquatic squirrels of unusual size] I don't believe they exist
Is it over one metre in size?
[>1m] Oh yes.
The internationally-flavoured Dana octopus squid, Taningia danae? Bioluminescent photophores fitted as standard.
[Taningia danae] No. Wow, but no.
How about this fella?
(the one on the right.)
[photographic evidence] Nu-uh
Is it of the family Cranchiidae?
[Cranch family] No.
Does the genus end in "-teuthis"?
[teuthises] Nope. audience applauds encouragingly
Is it a species of glass squid?
[glass squid] No, they're Cranchiidae
Oops. Okay well while I'm here, are they found in the Pacific Ocean?
[Pacific] Yes!
I am learning so much about squid. I hope some of it sticks with me.
That's great but now I've forgotten what I was getting at with that question.
Family Ommastrephidae?
[Ommastrephidae] No, not ommastrephidae
Is it a glass squid?
Bzzt! Repetition!
What about the frankly terrifying Magnapinnidae family?
[Magnapinnidae] Yep. That's the bunny
A winner?
I reckon you should give that to goldfinch. All the Magnapinnidae unknown from specimens which are well under a meter long, under the famous photograph doesn't doesn't have a species name attached to it yet.
Actually yes, I think that would be fair. On Wikipedia, I've just found that 'Magnapinnidae' jumps directly to the particular species in question.
So I shall hereby pass on this very, very long, writhing, sucker-covered, er, baton.
So I shall hereby pass on this very, very long, writhing, sucker-covered, er, baton.
Is it a goldfinch?
No but it’s just as ABSTRACT.
As abstract as a goldfinch? Hm. Does it have a known unladen airspeed velocity?
Does it begin with P?
[velocity] no it’s more abstract than that
[p] no
[p] no
Relativity?
Was it known to Plato?
A giant aquatic squirrel?
An emotion?
[emotion] no (slightest ripple of interest)
Is it astronomical?
[astronomical] no
Morniverse-related?
[morniverse] no, but there was another tiny ripple there
Guesswork?
[guesswork] meta but no
Is it a riddle?
[riddle] no.
I’ll add that it is a thing that exists and has properties, rather than a concept. It has ANIMAL/MINERAL connections but is neither.
I’ll add that it is a thing that exists and has properties, rather than a concept. It has ANIMAL/MINERAL connections but is neither.
The odour of animal faeces?
Putting it politely
[dungsmell] a fair guess but no.
Half a step in the right direction though.
A sensation?
[sensation] of sorts
FEEEELINNGGS, WHOA WHOA WHOA FEEEELLLINNGGS ?
[FEEEELINNGS] the song? or the concept of feeling?
[Resists switching to Boney M, but its a struggle]
As in, emotions.
Sorry, rather than, a specific emotion, which I had already
[feelings at large] nope
Is one of the senses involved?
[senses] yes
Is there more than one word on the card?
Fashion?
[more than one word] yes
[fashion] no
[fashion] no
Was it invented/first created in a particular known year?
[known year] yes
The Hallelujah Chorus (1741)?
[messiah] no, but a step in the right direction
Is it a piece of music?
[music] it isn’t music
Is it dance?
[dance] no, getting colder
Is this specific date before 1900?
[<1900] no
Related to the movie/TV industry?
[movie/TV industry] yes!
A particular production of said industry?
[production] no, product, yes
A TV series?
[series] no, getting colder
A genre of movie?
Technicolor?
[genre] no!
[technicolor] no!
[technicolor] no!
The name of a particular camera technique?
[camera technique] no, no cameras involved
Is it in a particular language?
[language] it is in no particular language
The Wilhelm scream?
Is it related to figurative art?
[Wilhelm scream] Yes! It is the Wilhelm scream! (crowd goes wild in a way I’m reasonably sure isn’t a stock sound effect.)
Whoops
Aaaaaaaaggghhhhh!
Let's go ANIMAL
Let's go ANIMAL
Okay well let’s just check it’s not the crocodile which prompted the aforementioned scream?
Human?
i.e. not Liz Truss
Crocodile? No.
Human? YES!
Human? YES!
President Polk? Peter Parker? Prince Philip?
Philip Pullman? Pablo Picasso? Priscilla Presley?
Pele?
:P
PPx3? No.
PPx3? No.
P? No.
PPx3? No.
P? No.
Ptolemy? Psychology? Psittacosis? Pterodactyl?
Is it a thing that doesn't begin with P ?
More to the point, is it a human that doesn’t begin with P?
Oh no, the pile-on was quite apt
Px4? No.
Not P? No.
Non-P person? No.
Not P? No.
Non-P person? No.
Is it a human typically referred to by two names, neither one of which doesn’t begin with P?
Is or was this person a president?
Is it more than one human?
P.P.? No.
Pres? No.
People? No.
Pres? No.
People? No.
Is the AOTC a person's name?
Is the AOTC “A person”?
No need to get so semantic
Named person? YES!
"A person"? Not those words, no.
"A person"? Not those words, no.
Currently newsworthy?
Royalty?
Was this person known for picking pecks of pickled peppers?
Current? No (to my knowledge, of course)
Crowned? No (of any close descent)
Capsica? No (do I need to caveat this "to my knowledge"?!)
Crowned? No (of any close descent)
Capsica? No (do I need to caveat this "to my knowledge"?!)
Currently alive?
A scientist?
Alive? No.
Scientist? No. *a couple of audience members make noises*
Scientist? No. *a couple of audience members make noises*
Fictional?
A literary figure?
Ptolemy?
Psmith?
Fictional? No.
Literary? YES! (As in, wrote some stuff)
Ptolemy? No.
Psmith? No.
Literary? YES! (As in, wrote some stuff)
Ptolemy? No.
Psmith? No.
Political?
P G Wodehouse?
Goethe?
Political? YES! (But not, AFAIK, a politician)
PGW? No.
JWG? No.
PGW? No.
JWG? No.
British?
Does this person’s last name begin with P?
Plato?
Wrote something before 1900?
Plato? YES!!
CdM has it! And what he now has is possession of the Platonic ideal of a baton.
Those early shots in the dark really looked like they might hit.
CdM has it! And what he now has is possession of the Platonic ideal of a baton.
Those early shots in the dark really looked like they might hit.
*emerges, blinking, into the light*
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
Does it end with a p?
The universe?
The probability of the Conservatives winning the next election?
Does it begin with C?
Cup, cap, crap, claptrap, clamp, chomp, crisp? No, at both extremities.
Universe? No.
Five more years? No.
Universe? No.
Five more years? No.
Created by humans?
Is it an -ism?
A work of fiction?
Human creation? Yes.
-ism? Yes. *applause*
Work of fiction? No. *scattered laughter*
-ism? Yes. *applause*
Work of fiction? No. *scattered laughter*
A social phenomenon?
Was it invented/coined in the last 50 years?
Social phenomenon? No.
Since 3/3/1974? No.
Since 3/3/1974? No.
An artistic or literary movement?
Art/lit? No.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
I'd regret if we didn't ask
A work of writing?
A recipe?
Channeling the ghost of INJ
Anarcho-syndicalism? No.
A work of writing? No.
Recipe? No.
A clarification: I believe my "yes" answer to "Created by humans?" is the least misleading but I suppose proponents of this -ism might dispute my answer.
A work of writing? No.
Recipe? No.
A clarification: I believe my "yes" answer to "Created by humans?" is the least misleading but I suppose proponents of this -ism might dispute my answer.
To do with religion?
Religious? Interesting question. I’m going to go with: No—but it is potentially religion-adjacent, for a broad definition of religion.