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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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Any connection to printing?
The telegraph?
Wasn't that something, give them a big hand.
[Boolbar] No printing.
[Simons Mith] Not telegraph, in fact not any sort of media.
Are these metal doohickeys, whatever they are, Preserved for the Nation or otherwise protected?
And now over to the Open Newt-fishing Championships at Rutland Water.
[Simons Mith] No, they are in use. There are a few in museums.
A collection of old steam engines?
Had to get that in
With only the ripple of the water and the occasional twig snapped by the camouflaged men and women engaged in this ancestral sport, one can hear the peeps and squawks of the unsuspecting newts.
[Rosie] The metal objects ARE steam engines, at least some of them are. The two remaining audience members offer polite applause. Now what is the abstract thing associated with this discovery?
Does the abstract thing apply equally to those members of the AOTC that are not steam engines?
Theromdynamics?
that's Thermodynamics
Omnes: Shush!
[Rosie] Yes. Hint: they are also trains.
[Raak] Not thermodynamics.
Travelling upon rails?
If so, are the rails travelled upon scenic?
Beclad in waders and an intense expression, Mrs Fortescue pounces and the net comes up in with not one newt but two! Perfect position and movement of the net has certainly won points from the judges.
[Raak] No. [Simons Mith] See previous answer.
Trains of gears involved?
A convention of steam engine enthusiasts?
Is it something to do with a journey?
Omnes: Shush!
[Rosie] No.
[Raak] That is getting a lot closer. No, but the audience likes it.
[Boolbar] No, other the evocation of travel that comes with trains.
Is the AOTC also the name of a film starring Ewan Macgregor?
(or Ewan McGregor, as he is more usually known)
We interrupt that fascinating duel between man and amphibian to bring you an update on the age of President Biden - 29,522 days, 16 hours, and 32 minutes. These figures may change.
[Raak] [Raak bis] Well, given the slow progress on this one I was considering whether I should accept that as an answer. However I have said that there is no 'p' in the answer and therefore I have to refuse. But you're very close. Alternatively, you are very far away, it depends on your point of view.
Hobby train driving?
Train enthusiasts?
They don’t like you if you call them trainspotters.
Ferroequinologists?
I found that one online; really liked it
We now proceed to our afternoon program of static, lull, and intermission.
[Raak] No.
[Raak] Not either.
[Simons Mith] Remind me to use that in the future. No.
Metalworking?
The railway network?
Beeching cuts?
Our next program, 'Obviously', where all those topics we all know stand to reason will be aired, will come this time on location from the top of the Clapham omnibus, and we'll be answering listener questions. This will be followed at six-thirty by News and Bother with Maureen Lipman.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Projoy] No.
Hint: the 'trainspotting' guess could have been accepted. What do aficionados do, or what is the content of their leisure activity?
Making lists of trains?
This question comes from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales. She writes, "Dear Obviously, it seems quite clear that the demistrile under Hardinge's Loop conditions leads only to a stalemate. Why does nobody seem to realise this?" Well obviously Mrs Trellis, that isthe solution to more than one tricky position in the second quadrant. But since Hardinge was once a member if the Socialist Party, his games have been unanalysed for some decades.
[Projoy] Not lists of trains.
[Bismarck] Aficionados spot trains, I suppose, and the content of their leisure activity is trains, the spotting of.
Painting graffiti on trains?
A Mr R.S. of Westminster writes: "Dear elector, the past three years have been one of growing prosperity for the UK. Crime has dropped, business confidence has grown, and we are now sending refugees to Rwanda. Surely it stands to reason that you want this to continue?" We reply:to Mr R.S. that it's not quite as obvious as all that!
[Raak] Not graffiti. But you're right to say that the content of their activity is spotting trains. We're just looking for the right way of putting it. Hint - film name.
Does "train" occur in the answer (including as part of a longer word)?
Trainspotting?
I used to do it. Paddington, platform 8.
It's 8:05, which means it's time for a timecheck. It's 8:05 and 8:06 is forecasted to occur within forty seconds. Let's wait and see how that turns out, hey?
[Raak] Yes. Genteel applause.
[Rosie] Hi, Rosie, nice to see you back in the game. Please look a page or so above for the answer to your question.
Train fanning?
Train enthusiasts?
Train geeking?
Train buffs?
Train mavens?
[Raak] No, no, no, no, no.
How about looking at it from the train's point of view?
A train museum?
Train Livery?
Model trains?
Can trains be supermodels? I am trying not to picture a 4-4-2 Atlantic strutting down a catwalk
What a surprise, it's 8:06. Different day, same time, but you can't step in the same stream twice unless you run quickly. Now an interview with an elephant that has forgotten! In this case to turn up for the interview. Hello, Nelly, are you there? [Silence.]
I'm going to hand this over to VAR owing to the closeness of 'trainspotting' before, if someone doesn't get this soon.
[Raak] No, we had that one.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons Mith] Not model trains.
Train drivers?
Is it to do with filming or photographing trains?
Or simulating them?
[Raak] Not really.
[Projoy] Yes, there is a link.
[Projoy] Not intentionally but by extension, possibly
A footplate video?
And that's it folks, this program is now closed owing to further notice.
[Rosie] Nope.
Anyway the entity known as Raak is declared the winner for getting "Trainspotting", whether or not it has a 'p' in it. The AO(T)C was "Closely Observed Trains", but the direction you were coming from, allied to how close "trainspotting" actually was, as well as the usual quantity of lines drawn and etceteras, means that VAR has forced my hand. Take this telescopic baton and go on to better things.

Ok, well then...
MINERAL with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
Does it begin with P?
No faffing.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it unique?
Tis better to bounce than flounce.
[Tuj] The less misleading answer is no, not unique. (A pedant in the audience gets to his feet and begins, "Actually..." The chair cuts him off with, "We've read that Wikipedia article too, and yes, you have a point, but the answer stands.")
The fossil of a conodont tooth?
[Bismarck] Not that Wikipedia article.
(Addendum to previous) But on the other hand it is a definite specific thing.
Is it entirely metal?
A prosthetic device?
[Tuj] Entirely non-metal.
[Rosie] Not a prosthetic.
Is it a building?
[Chalky] Not a building.
Would it float?
The very original of it that the pedant above tried to bring up might indeed float. But the thing is otherwise not something that can float or sink.
I am also thinking that "yes" and "no" are both misleading answers to the uniqueness question.
Recap
So far we know that it doesn't begin with 'P', isn't metallic and not a building.
Does this represent an animal?
Is it made out of wood?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
And, if Bismarck is declaring this a double round: Are you regretting your selection yet?
[B] Yes! Partly, it does represent an animal.
[B] No! It is not made of wood.
[T] It could be smaller or larger than a toaster.
[T] Not yet. Maybe if we're still on this by Christmas.
Is it a heraldic device?
[SM] Not an heraldic device.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
[T] Yes, associated with a particular nation.
Is there more than one animal connected?
[SM] Just one animal.
The animal might be the Great Seal of the Pres of the US of A, maybe?
[RtG] Not the Great Seal.
Are there statues of it?
[T] No statues.
Does it make a sound?
[P] It does not make a sound.
Was it invented/first created in a particular known year?
[T] Yes, the original object was created in a known year.
Is the animal human?
[R] The animal is human.
Is it a flag or crest?
[T] Not a flag or a crest.
To get past the awkwardness of the uniqueness thing, I retroactively declare that we are looking for the unambiguously unique, physical, original object, which indeed in part represents a human, was created in a known year, etc. Clue: not many people have seen the original, and I can find no information about whether it even still exists.
Related to money?
[SM] Not related to money (except insofar as everything is).
Is the person famous?
Yes, they are somewhat famous. (Audience goes hmm.)
Was the original made within the last 200 years?
[SM] Yes, made in the last 200 years.
Is it an item of clothing?
The original Oscar?
[T] Not clothing.
[RtG] Not the Oscar.
But is it art?
[T] Is not everything art, rightly considered? No, not art, although much artifice went into making it.
Is this object medically aligned?
[SM] Not medical.
Is it a photograph?
[RtG] applause!! It is a photograph!
Is it the photograph of the Tiananmen Square protestor and tanks?
Hail Radox! I note that the aforementioned Wikipedia has a "List of photographs considered the most important", though I'd think we're a few weeks away from recourse to that.
[T] Not Tiananmen.
[all] Not on Wikipedia's "List of photographs considered the most important".
Does the Mineral part of the AOTC refer to the photograph itself, or is there something mineral in the photograph we should identify?
[S] The MINERAL refers to the photograph itself, although there are things in it that are also mineral.
Has it featured in memes?
[P] Having googled this, I think it’s fair to say that it has featured in memes.
I am sure it will be instantly recognisable to everyone here.
What springs to mind is either the photo of the Montparnasse train crash, although it doesn't have anybody on it, and the Conan Doyle 'fairies at the bottom of the garden' photo, but that has a whole person, not part of one, so I'm going to ask if the photo was taken before 1930?
[S] Not taken before 1930.
Hint:this thing is not for the purpose of being a record of anything.
Roentgen's first X-ray?
[RtG] Not Roentgen's first X-ray.
Taken this century?
I for one was in shocked silence at that last hint!
[T] Not taken this century.
Is it a photo made with normal light?
[B] Yes, made with normal light.
The "Napalm Girl"?
"Not a 'record' of anything" - is this a record sleeve?
[P] Not Miss Napalm 1972. Remember, this was not created to be a record of something.
[RtG] Not a record sleeve, or anything else to do with "records" in that sense.
A stamp?
[S] Not a stamp.
Is the profession of the human in the photo pertinent?
[SM] Their profession (if any) is not pertinent.
Hint: not even their identity is pertinent.
Was the human alive when the photo was taken?
[S] Alive when the photo was taken. Still is, in fact.
Is there a link to Mornington Crescent?
[B] No link to Mornington Crescent.
Any connect to a sport?
[B] No connection to any sport.
Is this an accidental capture of some kind?
[SM] Not accidental. Very deliberately composed.
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