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King AVMA the III
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Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
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The next is MINERAL.
Silicon?
[B] Not silicon.
Unique?
Solid?
[T] Unique!
[R] Solid!
Jewel?
[S] Not a jewel.
Metallic?
Needs processing?
[T] Yes, metallic.
[R] Does not need processing, having already had all the processing it needs.
A manufactured item?
[R] Yes, manufactured.
Is it on the earth?
But is it art?
Is it a particle collider?
[B] On the Earth, but not on earth.
[T] (Sends Mycroft off to investigate. Mycroft returns, shaking his head.) Not art.
[SM] Not a particle collider.
Does/would it float?
[T] It would absolutely not float.
Is it Excalibur?
[SM](The audience is amused by the idea of a moistened bint holding this thing aloft.) Not Excalibur.
Is it made of iron?
[B] Not iron.
Is it larger than a standard double decker bus?
Have the Ukrainians attacked it?
[C] Umm...broadly similar, depending on how "size" is defined.
[SM] The Ukrainians have not attacked it.
Has Tom Scott done a video about it?
Either way, that should clear out a LOT
[SM] As far as I can tell, he has never done a video about it. I'm sure he could, though, and one day he might.
Is it in a single fixed location?
[T] It IS in a single fixed location!
Does it begin with P?
Is it located in a country setting as opposed to a built-up area
[T] Does not begin with P.
[C] In a built-up area.
A drone?
[R] Not a drone.
Is it on top of a building?
Is it in the Southern Hemisphere?
[B] mmm...not on top of a building.
[T] Not in the Southern Hemisphere.
The Shard?
[B] Not the Shard.
Is it in London?
[C] Yes! In London.
Does it bong?
[SM] applause! It bongs indeed.
Is it a bell?
[B] Dancing in the aisles to a Quarter Peal of Kent Treble Bob! It is a bell.
Was it cast by the Whitechapel Bell Foundry in 1858?
[SM] It was indeed!
So, who will say the two words on the card and have the next go?
Is it commonly known as Big Ben?
[B] Congratulations! Have this brass-look replica Big Ben handbell.
Oh, thank goodness; I was a hair away from giving up :-)
Heyyyy it goes bong! too... cooooolll.
The laser display overheated ...
So here is the mystery voice to tell listeners the subject on the card.
This is basically ANIMAL, so have at it there.
Human?
Unique?
[Rosie] Not human.
[Tuj] Not unique.
Alive, alive-o?
Does it begin with P?
Water-dwelling?
Can it fly (on its own volition, not if put in an aeroplane or thrown off a building?)
[Simons Mith] Not alive. Not a crustacean, either.
[Tuj] Doesn't begin with 'P'.
[Raak] Not water-dwelling.
[Boolbar] Cannot fly.
Is this just a part of an animal?
Is this something made from animals?
Do you sit on it?
Do you eat it?
[Rosie] Yes. The audience wake up.
[Raak] Yes. Some claps breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No sitableupon, at least not in intended use.
[Tuj] Yes! Audience claps vigorously.
Is it soup?
Does it have a misleading name?
[e.g. the disgraceful lack of toad in the toad in the hole, the misleading provenance (and lack of pork content) of so-called Hamburgers etc. Don't even get me started on Rocky Mountain oysters.]
Is this foodstuff made from a mammal?
Could it have been eaten 200 years ago?
Can I order it in a restaurant?
Would it be stored in a fridge?
[Radox the Green] Not soup.
[Simons Mith] After reference to Mycroft, the answer is "No".
[Boolbar] Yes! Spontaneous hoots break out.
[Tuj] Yes, it could have been enjoyed by Napoleon, and may well have been. More muted applause is heard as the audience try and work this out.
[Raak] Yes you can eat it in a restaurant, as long as it's on the menu. Some shouts from the audience.
[Chalky] Doesn't have to be kept cool, but Raak's restaurant probably does store it there. Audience is generally approving.
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