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Ruin a Wish
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Genies are known for their trickery in which they will technically grant a wish but then there are consequences to that wish being granted. A classic example is that somebody will wish for a million dollars, but then we find out the million dollars is stolen from banks.

So, let's take a turn at being those tricky genies, in a way - because we have the internet and imagination (yeah, the wishes, consquences and conditions can get VERY SILLY)!

The beginning poster posts a wish. The person that posts under it grants the wish, but they put in the part that isn't wanted. That person then also puts their own wish and the game continues.

It might look something like this.

Pen:

I wish I had a million dollars.

Simons Mith:

Granted, but the million dollars is stolen from banks.

I wish I never had to pay another utility bill.

Rak:

Granted, but now you live on a boat with pirates.

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head.

And on it goes . . .

So, I'll start with my wish. I wish that I would never get too cold, no matter the temperature.
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Reduced to an immortal, disembodied psychokinetic intelligence, you are able to while away eternity keeping everyone's house clean.

Let me return to youth and take another run-up at life.
We can't risk that again, so take this infant and infuse it with all the experience and wisdom at your disposal, so that it makes none of the same mistakes.

I want to impeach the President.

(After checking the datestamp on that last move)
You get the previous incumbent instead... (I made a typo in that as "pervious" originally. It's rather apt as I think about it.)

I wish I could fall asleep at a regular hour.
You get bitten by a vampire, and henceforth sleep throughout the hours of daylight.

I wish I could read the whole of Project Gutenberg.

You can, but it's a pretty dull autobiography after the bits about Police Academy

I wish I could work on Doctor Who
You wake up a nurse in an old folks' home, wiping Colin Baker's bottom while he babbles about Spielsnapes.

I wish Winter were over and there were more daylight
The sun goes nova.

I want to invent warp drive and go to the stars, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations, and boldly go where no man has gone before.
You find yourself spouting implausible technobabble on an unconvincing set, your toupee visibly slipping.

I want a cuddle.
A boa constrictor slithers up and lovingly wraps himself round you.

I wish to be able to read Chinese characters

[Rosie] Granted. You find that all of your books are now in Chinese, but you can't read English any longer.

I wish I could control whenever my dog barks.
Granted. However, your sofa begins to bark.

I wish it was next Friday already.
It already is, for this is last Friday's next Friday.

If only we could have a proper pagan Yule instead of this new-fangled Christmassy stuff.
Here's a goathide, a gallon of woad, some rotting antlers and a dose of bubonic plague. Enjoy the trip!

I wish for uninterrupted sleep every night
I am locking you into a windowless room with walls that admit not a single noise from outside. An amount of food and water will be poured in during daylight hours only.

I want to eat biscuits without gaining weight.
Granted. All biscuits contain a mild, fast-acting laxative.

I'd like my upstairs neighbours to stop their kids from running around at all hours of the night.
Granted. As from 1am tomorrow, the children will begin using rollerskates instead.

I want to be able to afford a house with a nice view of the sea.
You spend the best part of a million pounds for the short-lived pleasure of watching a large object tumble helplessly and hopelessly into the sea due to coastal erosion.

I wish I had the mentality of a cat.

You're retired. You eat when you want, sleep lots, complain for little reason and change your mind frequently. Everything has to be just as it was yesterday, or you get cranky. That cough also sounds like you've got hairballs. What do you mean, you wish?

I would like to paint like Constable.

That feature wall in your house that you covered with green emulsion? That's exactly how Constable would have done it too if he'd lived there and chosen that colour.

I would like all my problems solved and never to be worried again.
BANG!

I wish for coffee that tastes as good as it smells.

I've got a jar here of instant decaff that's gone mouldy.

I wish it was always Spring or Summer.
Welcome, sir, to Centre Parc's dome-life experiment! Our motto is "You can check in any time you like, but you can never leave."

I wish I could retire without a care in the world.
Here's a lifetime subscription to the Seniors Book Club, featuring such titles as "Teach Yourself Braille", "Which Hearing Aid", and "Easy Sudoku". And there's a bonus: a reduced price on the services of Dignitas!

If only doing a thing was as easy as thinking about doing it.
You just killed your mother-in-law and your wife just killed you. Neither of you rose from your armchairs.

I wish I had a TARDIS.
Join the Conservative Party. Be very careful not to press the Forward button or your fate will be that of the crew of the Mary Celeste.

I wish water had a lower freezing- point.

OK, water now only freezes at 10m below sea level.

I wish I was a glow worm.

*amputates your limbs and pops a lightbulb between your cheeks* Sorry, you didn't specify a budget.

I want to stop.
Here's a brick wall. Go back 50 yards then run like hell at it.

I want to write Beethoven's 10th Symphony
Mate, you don't need a genie for that. Soon we'll all be doing this at the touch of a button.

I want to write a symphony that expresses my deepest feelings.
[projoy] You find yourself hunched over your desk and constantly changing notes on a staff, constantly changing with your mood.

I wish I could enjoy eating chili for every meal.
Try this recipe for Hungarian goulash with extra chili, wherein the flavour and heat are disguised by liberal amounts of dettol, dog biscuits and kerosene.

I wish all my joints would become non-arthritic
Add a little water and you'll find that your spliffs bend easily.

I wish I'd remembered what my English teacher told me in 1988
You still have many regrets, but now you can punctuate them properly.

I wish I had a large townhouse and a cook.
You own a large townhouse where your cook lives and enjoys a wonderful life while you are forced to live in the forest by a ferocious bear that nobody wants to deal with.

I wish I had students for my online theatre classes.
You own a large townhouse where your cook lives and enjoys a wonderful life while you are forced to live in the forest by a ferocious bear that nobody wants to deal with.

I wish I had students for my online theatre classes.
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