mc5 - The return of the facial nightwear game

Dujon

Ah, my dear, you are showing your age. A Speke Lexden is simply a dictionary (including pronunctiations) of "modern" English - i.e. as it is spoke.

I was glancing through one of my wife's specialist magazines the other week and came across the term tipple peak. To be honest I'm not sure whether I mis-read the words but, if not, can anyone help?

Angus Prune

You read correctly. I assume this is latest edition of 'Hot Toddy Monthly', the magazine for liqueur coffee connoiseurs. The tipple peak is the small bit of cream on the top of, say, an Irish Cream that ends up on your nose if you glug it down.

Now that you are enlightened, can anyone tell me the purpose of Kemsing Ringers?

The Truth

hahahahahahahahahaha this is so crap

The Truth

james is so stupid someone threw a petrol bomb at him and he drank it.

Bob the dog

Ah a prime example of a Mornington Wassak. Which brings me on to Kemsing Ringers. Basically it refers to anyone who looks like Albert Kemsing (ie 7 foot 2, bald, jug-eared and a tatoo of an armadillo on his chin).

But what is a Christmas Dixon?

Raak

Christmas Dixons are policement on the beat during the shopping season trying to look friendly and avuncular, like the eponymous copper of Dock Green. This is a rather difficult act to pull off nowadays, when they go clad in bullet-proof vests and fluorescent yellow overcoats, with side-handled telescopic truncheons and rigid handcuffs stuffed into their belts.

Would one go to the other Dixons for Purple Headphones?

Angus Prune

Certainly not! I think you'd be likely to get slapped should you dare ask for such a thing! Let's just say you'd be more likely to find that sort of, erm, 'entertainment' in, say, Soho or Montmartre or 5 Bradley Road, Peterborough. (Just say Angus sent you...).
Now that I've tipped you off, what is the purpose of an Easter Staverley?

Poisoned Pigeon

That's an ancient religion. Devotees turn their back on Mecca, whistle three times and pray to their cooking pots. Of course with the advent of modern gas stoves, this particular cult has fallen into decline. I came across a reference to a Hogsbotham in a book I'm reading, but can't for the life of me work out what it is. Can anybody help?

Raak

Literally a hogshead's bottom, this means something similar to the modern expression "scraping the bottom of the barrel". A hogsbotham is something so produced.

Perhaps we have reached the hogsbotham of this game? Perhaps the definition of Inverted Nuptials will decide?

gil

A posh name for divorce in which the grounds for separation relate to a so-called "sixty-nine" act performed by one of the partners with NOT the other partner (IYSWIM). Keen mathematicians will immediately perceive that 69 looks the same upside-down as right-way-up.

As to termination, I agree, Raak. But, just as a final question, what's a Mornington Crescent?

Audience

*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for gil*

Don't ask me!

a facial game

how's it goin

this is weird an a half

weirdo

what is this that i'm in right now?

narodzenie

hello?

Chalky

Hello. While you're here - who knows what a drenching collander is used for?

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rab

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Darren

There's nothing like being respected by an utter moron.

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